As 2024 began, I decided my blog should mark - in some fashion - all major holidays over the coming year. Unfortunately, that resolve evaporated when both Valentine's (sorry sweetheart) and President's Day (ditto George and Abe) passed by unremarked. Although spotty Internet service while we were in Africa over most of February was largely to blame for that lapse, the mojo has now returned. Pardon the holiday solipsism that follows.
Patrick, Martin, Christopher, and Jesus. That's some company my namesake is keeping, right? Today's holiday - using my moniker - has outlasted those commemorating Washington & Lincoln's birthdays; they were demoted to sharing a day and their title. Honor the blasphemous substitution of "Xmas" for Christmas, do you? That brings us down to three names associated with a major holiday = Patrick, Martin & Christopher. How about this? When people mention the holidays celebrated on the third Monday of January and the second Monday of October, are first names generally cited? Aren't you much more likely to hear MLK or Columbus Day? That leaves Patrick standing alone. Nice.
The parades, drinking, and celebrating that help keep my name on lots of lips today are catnip to an ego like mine. But I'll not be fully satisfied until a holiday with my middle name is formally declared. To that end, I've retained the services of a flock of high-paid lobbyists, bribed a dozen members of Congress, and begun a grassroots campaign to have August 1 declared St. James Day, effective this year. I haven't yet settled on whether post offices and banks should close but Hallmark is gearing up and other noteworthy people named James have donated funds to my cause. With August being a barren holiday month, success is all but guaranteed. And as soon as St. James Day is codified, Barton is next in the queue. Posterity awaits, you'll see.