Using the Signs

How easy it is to become used to things that are all around us. But while driving recently it suddenly dawned on me - I can make better use of signs to remind me of important stuff needing my attention. 

STOP:  Being judgmental
YIELD: To others with a different view
CAUTION:  Ambiguity ahead

If I remember to apply this new concept only each third time I see one of these ubiquitous signs, I'm batting .333 - hall of fame territory. I'll be thrilled to succeed just that often. What other signs are worth paying more attention to? What would you add to the sign? I think I'm onto something here - join me.

Holding On

Twelve years ago, I began developing and teaching music courses for a robust lifelong learning program featured at a local community college. Although still not a foregone conclusion, at present it appears that program is wheezing toward its end. My time teaching at this college - the entree into an invigorating element of my third act - has been fulfilling from the start.    

What I'll miss most as this chapter of my life concludes - isn't this always the case? - are the people. Since 2014, I've had numerous moments of musical communion with many of the folks who have regularly attended my classes at this location. More than once, I've written of these moments here. Beginning my current class - which could be my last at this college - this past Thursday, I was once again rewarded when an astute student pointed out a lyrical subtlety in Don't Stand So Close to Me that had bypassed me despite having listened to that Police song repeatedly for over forty-five years.   

Have I had special moments like this at other places while teaching? Of course. However, knowing I may not have future opportunities to musically connect with some of these specific folks - a few have been with me from day one - gives me genuine pause. Label me sentimental; I've been called worse.

Good news to close. I've managed to build a bond with several of these repeat students outside the classroom. A few have joined my book club, several are now regular readers of my blog - one has become a prolific commenter - my wife and I have become close enough to one couple that we travelled with them early this year. The others? My plan is to collect as many e-mails as possible over the final two weeks of my current class in the hope that some of these folks may decide to attend a future course I'm conducting elsewhere. Completely abandoning a group of serious music lovers I've become attached to? No chance. 

Culling

Ever known anyone who didn't collect something? If I have, that person does not come readily to mind. Ever wonder when this nearly universal propensity in homo sapiens began, i.e., once upon a time was it necessary to occasionally de-clutter our caves?  

As my later-in-life culling project continues apace, my reflections about collecting are, unsurprisingly, front and center. And though my collections of books and music paraphernalia never got really out of hand, it's been harder to part with that stuff than I sometimes admit. If you're at a similar juncture in your life - you know it's time to let go so that your adult children are not burdened with doing the culling after you're gone - which of your collections has given you the most pause? What useful culling strategies have you discovered that you can share here with me and others?

As the time approaches to jettison a lifetime of journals, medication might be required. 

Words for the Ages: Line Forty-Three

"We all have wings, but some of us don't know why."

Of the several long-running series created for my blog, Words for the Ages - now in its tenth year - seems to light a brighter fire than others, especially with respect to reader comments. Special thanks today to JT, who recently reminded me of the terse phrase above from an INXS song entitled Never Tear Us Apart. Today is the third instance when I've used a sharp reader's input to help keep this series vibrant and true to its mission.   

Who can reasonably dispute that some people go through life without realizing their potential? This essential truth is delivered in the phrase above via the use of wings as a metaphor; simple and elegant. Eleven words for the ages; concise, able to stand on their own, timeless. Although not often cited for his lyrics, Michael Hutchence, the charismatic lead singer of INXS, clearly hit the mark this time. Got a lyric you think conveys a similar message just as succinctly? Please share it here. I'm confident I'm not the only one interested.  

I'm paying close enough attention all the time to know there's a finite supply of these aphorisms disguised as song lyrics. However, I'm pleased to report some astute readers have apparently been inspired enough by recent iterations of Words for the Ages that they have given me a surplus to work from over the coming months. So, stay tuned commenters. That gem you suggested could be next. And big thanks for your help.

To Return or Not to Return?

Not long after leaving the full-time work world, I realized I needed a method to help me decide which authors I'd return to, given the number of reading years likely left to me. And until quite recently, I was reasonably happy with the method I settled on, i.e., if an author disappointed once - no matter how many winners had preceded that disappointment - I was done.

But soon after a satisfactory - although not mind-blowing - experience with an author new to me, I recognized the need to alter my sixteen-year-old model. This newer iteration is more flexible while retaining the needed discrimination of the original. See if you agree.

Heretofore, authors will be placed into one of three tiers for this reading snob:

a.) Those I will not return to, under any circumstances. The names of those authors will never be mentioned on this blog. Private conversations? A different kettle of fish.

b.) Those I might return to, if the right situation presents itself. More info on tier "b" available upon request. The author alluded to in the second paragraph above currently resides in tier "b". 

c.) Those I will return to, until they disappoint, at which point that author will move to tier "b." The number of disappointments allowed before being relegated to tier "a"? An open question.

Although curious to hear your thoughts on my flawless method, I'm even more curious to hear how it lines up - or does not - with your own. No judgments, or at least, not that many. 

          

A Familiar and Sacred Place

Taking for granted the natural beauty of familiar places is easy and unfortunate. 

Few things serve to remind me as much of this all-too-human tendency as early autumn in my beloved and lifelong home state. While on a recent hike at nearby Hartshorne Park, the symphony of colors and breathtaking view from an overlook above the Sandy Hook peninsula and Gateway National Recreation Area reminded me again how fortunate I am to be proximate to such splendor. I was not surprised hearing gasps from several of my hiking companions approaching that overlook. Lots of pictures were taken. None that I saw captured a fraction of the magic. Visit this website for an idea of what I re-experienced.

 

Sandy Hook - Wikipedia

However, near the conclusion of the hike, our leader asked the group if anyone would like to take a few extra minutes and walk to the lighthouses that sit atop this magnificent spot. And though I'd been there before, the perfect weather, those majestic trees, and the fellowship of others who enjoy the outdoors capped off a peak morning. Though the picture below showcases a manmade vs. a natural feature, the cloudless blue sky enveloping that 1862 lighthouse brings back the wonder I experienced that day walking through a familiar and sacred place.

Anchoring (Etc.)

When trying to integrate a new practice into your life - be it something mundane like flossing your teeth or something more substantive like regular exercising or reading more - what strategies have you found effective in helping the practice take hold?

I can't recall either how or when I first heard about the power of anchoring in helping a practice take hold. However, I do remember over thirty-five years ago deciding that integrating a meditation practice into my life was important. I also recall how much trouble I had at the time finding a consistent place and time to sit and pay attention only to my breathing. My daughter had just been born, I had a full time and two part-time jobs, life was pretty hectic. 

But the one thing I did Monday to Friday that I knew would not change anytime soon was driving to my full-time job in the a.m. Somehow (had I read about anchoring somewhere? did someone suggest it as a technique? did I identify it as anchoring after landing on my solution?), I came up with meditating in my car in a remote spot in the parking lot of my full-time work location. I left myself an extra half-hour each morning - which also helped me get up earlier and beat most of the rush hour traffic - and, except for days either too cold or too hot to sit in my car for thirty minutes, that consistent place and time issue was solved.

Rather than sharing other examples of how anchoring has worked for me, I'd prefer now to hear your strategies. Perhaps you've never specifically connected your success at integrating a new practice to anchoring it to something else in your life that is a constant. Even so, try re-creating your success story - as I did above - and then share here how you got there. Anchoring or not, maybe your story will help others who have struggled to find an effective way of getting a new practice to take hold. 

  

Close to a Guarantee

Finishing The Correspondent (2025), my first thought was how could any open soul not like this book? Virginia Evans's debut novel is heartfelt, well-written, and totally engaging. Put aside its readability and humanness; it's also a bibliophile's dream. 

 

The letters sent and received by the protagonist - Sybil Van Antwerp - often refer to literature, one of her passions. In addition, Sybil is in the habit of writing to authors nearly as frequently as she writes to her brother Alex or best friend Rosalie. About halfway through this captivating novel, your favorite blogger - wearing his list making bibliophile hat - began keeping track of all the books and authors cited by Sybil and others, just in case one of you were to later wonder. The final tally? Around thirty-five. (Before you ask, yes, after beginning that list at the halfway point I did then return to the start to ensure the accuracy of the final number. Forgive me father.) 

 

Over the fifteen+ year history of my blog, I've published more than five hundred posts about books. And though every one of those five hundred+ met my sole criteria** - i.e., this book elevated me - for more than a few, I felt it necessary to provide a caveat, about language, subject matter, density, etc. There is no caveat attached to my recommendation of The Correspondent. I'm confident this novel will appeal to almost any reader.

** Over that same period, I've never published a single post about a book that left me cold. And there have been an ample number of those.