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Thursday, May 19, 2022

Nurturing Friendships

My wife has always worked harder than me at staying in regular touch with friends we've shared over our forty-four years together. At the same time, given my contributions to those friendships, I'm reasonably confident none of them has ever felt as though I take them for granted. I can always give more but these longstanding friends know they can rely on me. And I know the same about them. 

That gift has been on my mind a great deal as my daughter's wedding approaches. During a recent conversation with my future son-in-law about our friends who will be attending the wedding, I was overcome with gratitude for my good fortune. I want the best for my daughter's future married life; I want her to be as happy forty years from now in her marriage as I am in mine. As I continue to reflect on what our friends have brought to our married life, one good way to sustained happiness in my daughter's future married life seems clear: nurture those shared friendships. 

Does it matter who does more of the heavy lifting in nurturing those shared friendships? I don't think it does. If both partners in a marriage agree it is worth doing and also agree to avoid taking any friend for granted, those friendships will likely endure. I'm not certain about much. I am certain the friends who will be joining us to celebrate my daughter's wedding have all contributed to me being a better person than I would have been had they never come into my life.     

   

     

11 comments:

  1. Lovely post. I totally agree. I still nurture relationships from high school, college, graduate school and from Rochester and Boston where we previously lived. It is a thread to the past that continues into the present. So rewarding!

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    1. "Unknown"; Thanks for your comment, the nice feedback on the post itself, and affirmation of what I captured about friendships.

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    2. I don't know why it showed up as anonymous, it is Ines. LOL!

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  2. A lesson I definitely learned from you and mom.

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    1. Alison; I'm glad you think so. You have a solid foundation of friends and I'm sure many of them will be with you a long time.

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  3. We work hard at this together. Thanks for being our social secretary!

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    1. You are welcome, I'm sure. Thanks, as always, for acknowledging my role in helping keep this rewarding part of our shared life humming.

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  4. Hello, Pat. Hope this finds you all doing well. Friends are golden. And as I've gotten older I've found that even if friends are not seen every day, week, month, or in some cases, years, it doesn't make them any less friends. I've probably mentioned this previously, but FaceBook has become a wonderful means to stay in touch with friends from so many years ago - High School, College, and just from long ago. Having lost 3 very dear and close friends - one when I was a young teen and 2 later in life - puts the friendships I have now in a much different light. Trying not to let political, or other, differences get in the way of wanting to remain close can be hard, but also very necessary. Mutual respect, agreeing to disagree, etc. I definitely try to do my part.
    Be well, Pat,
    Bob

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    1. Hey Bob (not sure why you're coming up as "anonymous", although I'm guessing it's related to the Blogger glitches you've been experiencing since early 2022); Thanks for the comment. You have indeed mentioned here before how FB has helped you re-kindle old friendships. I strongly feel this is one of the few consistent benefits FB has given all of us. And I also identify with your sentiments about how losing a friend clearly puts all friendships into a new light.

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  5. I am so grateful that you and Kim remain close friends even though we live on opposite sides of the country. Your recent visit was very refreshing and although some circumstances of our lives have changed drastically, we remain firmly rooted in the love that we share for one another. It's work staying in touch and I have learned late in life, that if there is to be friendship, I have to do as much as my wife to keep the connections alive.

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    1. Steve; I think you know we share your feelings completely. If you two lived nearby, you would have most certainly been at the wedding. You'll be there in spirit, I hope. In the meanwhile, how are you doing with the Adam Johnson novel?

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