I'm grateful for my good health and financial security and will look forward to embracing the passions that sustain me.
I'm fortunate to have a lifelong partner and loving daughter who share my values and a new grandson with whom I will spend as much time as possible through my remaining years.
I pledge to continue reflecting here regularly and will anticipate you joining me to celebrate moments of hope and joy.
If asked to rate yourself as a listener - with one being poor and ten being exceptional - what would you say? How closely do you suppose your self-score would match how others see you?
You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why It Matters (2019) will stick with me. I know this because my extensive notes on Kate Murphy's carefully researched and skillfully presented book are a potent combination of the following:
* New learning: Being exposed to the psychological phenomenon called "closeness communication bias" provided powerful insight into how easy it can be to stop listening carefully in any long-term relationship, i.e., "We think we already know what the other person will say."
* Questions to ask others about their listening skills and ... using the same questions to more carefully examine my own listening skills: Start with the two questions opening this post. Then explore others that came to me as an accompaniment to my new learning, like ... Which people close to you do you have difficulty listening to? What makes listening to them difficult? What does the difficulty you're having with that person - as a listener - say about you? Which of your listening behaviors might turn off people who are speaking to you?
* Straightforward, sharp prose: "Perhaps the greatest barrier to keeping our minds on track and following someone's narrative is the nagging concern about what we're going to say when it's our turn." Or... "Secure people don't decide others are irredeemably stupid or malicious without knowing who they are as individuals. People are so much more than their labels or political positions." That's just a small taste.
Without question, You're Not Listening is the best book of its type I've finished since Sherry Turkle blew me away in 2015 with Reclaiming Conversation. And though the research cited in both books supports my own belief that the unceasing distraction of ubiquitous cell phones has helped to create a culture where empathic listening is increasingly at risk, both books are also hopeful. Each offers practical advice on reining in the technology. I believe we need books like these to rescue us from ourselves.