Although on some days that cliched expression fits how I'm feeling about my personal growth, on other days it feels like a cozy rationalization I'm using to excuse redundant bad behavior. For me, the one surefire way I've found to stay on the path to wholeness is to be sure I consistently surround myself with grounded people. People more concerned about being kind than they are about being right. People that strike me as having a solid core of decency and grace. People who - by the everyday example they set - bring me joy.
The other people? That depends on the kind of day I'm having. Some days I can better tolerate people who remind me of myself on my worst days because it's encouraging to see - by comparison - that I have grown, at least a little. Other days I'm far less patient with those vexing spirits and have to catch myself from responding in kind to their judgmental statements, anger, or reflexive cynicism. And responding that way is an easy trap for me to fall into with my own temperamental tendency to judge as well as to anger easily.
In a recent conversation with a gentle soul who soothes me every time I hike with him - one of those folks from the second paragraph above - I stumbled across a re-framing insight about that work in progress trope. Rather than automatically resorting to a judging label for folks who trigger me - those referenced in the third paragraph, people I normally try to avoid - I've landed on a new strategy for those encounters. I'll try to remember that those folks need to do more work. This seems fair, given how far I've got to go on my journey.
Hey, Pat. Time for me monthly catch-up ...
ReplyDeleteThere are people in my life, as with so many others I'm sure, that I love spending time with and those that I could definitely do without. That's the easy part. Sometimes it is difficult (to say the least) to avoid some of the ones that fall into the second category. When that happens - all too often at times - I just smile, bite my tongue/lip, and look forward to the times what I can be with the first group. Coincidently, that first group consists of mostly people I've had in my life for much longer than the second group.
Be well,
Bob
Bob; Thanks for this comment as well as the rest you made on subsequent posts. Although I agree it's a good strategy to "...smile, bite your tongue..." etc., when faced with those vexing spirits, I suspect you - and many others - are more skilled at doing that than I am. As I mentioned in the post, I sometimes get so triggered by those folks that I revert to my worst self.
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