Soon after reminiscing with my daughter about the many parties hosted in our home as she was growing up, I began reflecting on my own childhood. It's likely the tendency to make our home a welcoming place for my daughter's friends is yet another example of the legacy my folks passed onto me.
Throughout my childhood - and that of my three close-in-age siblings - Mom was part of every activity involving any of us. She was on the PTA, a chaperone on school trips, a den mother for boy scouts and girl scouts, served on the board of the Little League. Her whistle - used to gather the troops at mealtime - was known to everyone in the neighborhood. I can't recall one instance when a lingering friend wasn't invited to join us. More important, all my friends wanted to be there; my mother's warm glow was comforting.
Like many men of his generation, my Dad could be stern and wasn't particularly emotional. But he shared my Mom's sensibility about ensuring other children knew our home was safe. Even on the rare occasions when Dad lost his temper with my friends there, he was careful to direct his impatience at one of his own children rather than at a guest. And most important, Dad was respectful to Mom, especially when friends were nearby. I tried to emulate his model on those frequent occasions when my daughter's friends were in our home as she grew up.
What cherished legacy passed onto you by your parents did you replicate - consciously or not - when you began creating a life for your own children? If you haven't started a family of your own yet, but plan to do so, which cherished legacy have you decided is most worth preserving?
Some of my fondest memories are of family get-togethers for dinners. Not always holidays - though they usually were - but just family get togethers. There was so much laughing, so much fun. We tried to keep that going after my grandparents passed and, for the most part, we were successful. But when my dad passed it changed. Not that we didn't still have our get togethers with my mom, but between my kids growing and having kids, and my siblings kids growing, well, the distance started. And then when my mom passed it really changed so much more. Fewer get togethers. And when we did have them, there were fewer of us there. We still try. And we do still have fun when we do get together. And as much fun as I'm having with my son and daughter and their respective spouses and our grandkids - and it is so much fun - it's not the same as it was. Sadly it will never be the same. But there are always new memories to be made and plenty of pictures to share to talk about and remember the times past. Thanks for the post, Pat. Be Well. Stay Safe.
ReplyDeleteRRGRMG; Thanks for telling me about your family traditions and the way some pieces of it it have shifted over the years.
Deleteloved growing up in the "fun" house!
ReplyDeleteAlison: And I loved being the host for all those friends; I'll always treasure those memories. I
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