Some firsts mark great moments in a life - first kiss, first concert, first child. Other firsts are ones I could do without. I'll avoid oversharing by not listing here a few of the embarrassing firsts life has hurled at me in recent history. But my most recent unpleasant first cannot go by unremarked, especially since it was closely followed by a bonus insult of like kind.
I'm standing in a crowded shuttle headed to pick up a rental car in Albuquerque Airport. A young man asks me if I would like his seat. Really? I'd like to say my first thought was how his polite gesture reassured me that common courtesy is alive and well. Instead, my first thought was "Do I look feeble?"
Before you ask, yes of course I thanked the young man. And his offer - no matter how uncharitable my first thought - would have probably slipped my mind had a second unpleasant reminder of my codgerhood not occurred a few days later.
A group of six of us - all quite obviously in Act Three - are nearing the end of our hike to the peak of Chimney Rock while at Ghost Ranch. Headed up as we descend is a youngish group, stopped at the trailside, perspiring. As we pass them headed down, someone in our group overhears someone from the youngish group say "Hey, if they can do it, we can."
That most recent unwelcome first and its not-long-after bonus insult got me to my annual quota of reminders of codgerhood. One bright side: Both unintentional barbs landed by late October, making it unlikely I would exceed quota. I'm hoping to make it through the remaining days of 2022 unscathed. Wish me luck.
Oh Pat this is so wonderful and we are happy to be on this journey with you! My first such Codgerhood memory was about age 55 and being invited to Senior movie prices in the company of younger friends!Appalled was I
ReplyDeleteBob and Judith
Bob & Judith; I'm happy to be on the journey with you as well. My first moment was getting my AARP card. What a shock! But, like I always say, beats the alternative.
DeleteI have always enjoyed the senior discount and used it toward purchasing popcorn.
ReplyDeleteThe young woman’s comment made me smile and thought of it as a compliment. Let’s be positive about getting older.
David F
David; I am generally positive about getting older so thanks for the reminder. And looking at that young hiker's comment about us as a compliment is a good example of how to maintain that attitude. At the same time, a little bitching never hurts. Thanks for the comment.
DeleteHi Pat. Your blog on codgerhood was a great reminder of the trip. I guess I reached codgerhood earlier than you, but I do remember that AARP moment. Like David though, I am always delighted when some younger person offers me a seat, opens the door or what not, because like you, I find it refreshing to know that courtesy and kindness is alive and well, even in young folks.
ReplyDeleteAs for the young hikers comments, I take it as an enormous comment! We rock!
Jane K
Hey Jane; Thanks for the comment. Intriguing how both you & David extracted a positive from the remark that young hiker made. Good for you both! Now as for being offered a seat on that shuttle, that remains an unwelcome first for me, courtesy & kindness notwithstanding.
DeleteI agree with David and Jane, you need to look at these events in a positive way. The first being an act of kindness and respect, offering a seat to someone. I have done this many times to both older and younger people. The second, I would treat as a compliment and the speaker was using that as a motivator for their group.
ReplyDeleteReplace the word "codger" with "elder" for a more positive connotation. An elder is a person of advanced years who is respected and revered for the simple act of having lived longer, thereby having learned more than other members of their tribe. The wisdom of the elders is respected and sought and usually followed.
Chris; Since you've now joined my two Rogue Scholar friends to duly chasten me, I'm forced to re-consider my neologism - i.e., codgerhood. Here's hoping I remember next time I begin whining that I use elderhood in its place. But, given the cognitive decline that is an inevitability of old age, oh ... never mind.
DeleteLet's hear it for "elderhood!" And yes, it is better than the alternative. I am now two years older than my Mom was when she died and still going strong. That makes me very grateful.
ReplyDeleteInes; Thanks for the comment and for endorsing Chris's idea, darn him anyway. I too am grateful, my whining in the original post aside.
DeleteLoved this reflection about discovering new experiences when entering the "twilight" years; funny and inspiring.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous; Thanks for the comment. In the unlikely event you happen to see this long-delayed response, please forgive me for taking so long. Bob's longer comment (directly below) probably caught my eye and perhaps contributed to me unknowingly skipping over yours. Mea culpa.
DeleteGood morning, Pat. Ahhh - Codgerhood. Love the word and the description it brings with it. Although I will be 66 in January, my mind seems like it is stuck in my 20's sometimes. Well, maybe stuck is the wrong word. A friend of mine used to say that although he is getting older he refuses to grow up. I love that way of thinking and use it every time I can. Although the stiffness I feel each morning brings me back to reality. I agree with others who have commented that being called 'Sir' was eye opening. Although that started happening when I was in my 30's, so I'm not sure how much that counts. As you know, I enjoy being involved with theater and doing plays as often as I can. And the Theater Department at Brookdale is family to me and where I've had so much fun over many, many, years.. But, as each year passes, and each class of incoming freshman starts, I realize the difference age has and the wider gap. When I first attended in the mid 1970's, I was one of the class - same age, same experiences, etc. After almost 30 years I went back and was now the age of the students parents. That was a change. Now when I go back I can easily be the age of the current students grandparents. Eyes open wider - lol. It is interesting to experience the youthful joy that being around these 'kids' brings me while also being a reminder that I am so much older than them. I can also remember when I started working and being part of the 'young kids'. And then when I retired those that called us the 'young kids' had long ago left and it was my turn to be one of the old guys. I sometimes wondered if the way that I looked at people when I started is the same way that I was being looked at when I left.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Pat. I enjoyed reading it and had a good laugh thinking about all of the images and references.
Be well,
Bob
Bob; Thanks for your unfailing support of and kindness about my blog and this post in particular. Although I don't recall the first time someone called me "sir", I'm pretty sure that would have fallen into that "unwelcome first" bucket I alluded to in my post. Oh well.
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