cautious - timid - scaredy-cat? adventurous - reckless - foolhardy?
Inspired by a recent conversation with my sister about the temperamental similarities between her two granddaughters and our brother's two boys - our nephews - I'd enjoy hearing how your experiences match or differ from ours.
Consider the two groups of italicized words that open this post. Each group uses three words ranging from dictionary neutral to slightly negative to clearly pejorative to describe a temperament. In our case, we agreed that her two granddaughters and our two nephews lined up in temperament with the older in each pair better described as children and adolescents by the group one words and the next born better described as children and adolescents by the group two words. From there we tried to remember if our temperaments as children and adolescents - me the oldest, she the next born - followed a similar pattern. Of course, in the absence of any corroboration, we can't be sure. But given my sister's childhood and adolescent propensity for scaring our parents half to death with her tree climbing and other "un-feminine" antics, she and I unscientifically concluded the same model applied to us. That is, the older and first born - me - was more cautious than his younger sibling. (BTW, we didn't check in with #3 or #4 about all of this because doing so wouldn't fit neatly with the final paragraph's questions.)
Your experience? If you are one of two, what do you recall about your individual temperaments as children and adolescents with respect to which of you was cautious vs. adventurous? Any parents still alive and available to provide corroboration? More pertinently, if you are the parents of just two, how about their temperaments as children and adolescents? Was the older more cautious and the younger more adventurous? And just so only children or parents of only children don't feel left out, which of those two groups of words better describes you - or your only offspring - as a child or adolescent? As you've gotten older - or as your child grew into an adult - how much did that particular element of your temperament - or your child's - shift, if at all? This last question has a high degree of relevance to me because I've always fancied myself an adventurous adult. But maybe not as adventurous as my sister, who definitely started out that way.
Bob; Wow, you gave me a lot of data to work with here! Near as I can parse out from your comprehensive comment, the observations my sister and I made about her two granddaughters and our two nephews AND she and I - i.e., the older = more cautious, next born = more adventurous - are mostly supported by the examples you gave across three generations. (BTW, I'm relieved you stopped at three or else I would've needed to make a flow chart!) That aside, as I've mentioned previously, your comments have really frequently welcomed me into your life's story. Thanks for that.
ReplyDeletePat,
ReplyDeleteI love this! So true for Riley and Colbie. I believe a part of it may be attributed to their gap in age as well. There are 3 years between them. Enough time for Riley to become the independent older sibling, able to walk with confidence, climb stairs, jump, ride a bike, play catch, etc... When the behaviors of a 4 year old are imitated by a 1 year old, they can appear more risky for the 1 year old. I certainly didn't want Colbie climbing stairs at 1!
My brother is 14 months my elder and we do not fit the #1 Cautious and #2 Adventurous mold; at least from when my memories begin. Maybe we were too close in age? Maybe he was a boy and I was a girl and our genetic makeup played a role? Today, I am certainly the more cautious of the two. But, maybe I should consult with my mom and inquire about our younger years... :)
"Anonymous"/I know who; Thanks for the comment. Glad you saw parallels between what I wrote and your own kids. Intriguing that the model didn't fir you & your older brother as well as it did me & my younger sister.
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