Wait, you like what? You want to go where? You're following who on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram?
I suspect I'm not alone in occasionally assuming things about people I've known for a long time. And though I try to guard against stereotyping, claiming my assumptions about others are not occasionally prone to that impulse would be nonsense. Last time I checked, I was still human. Making assumptions may sometimes be lazy thinking, but when coupled with people we think we know, it can also be about comfort. It's reassuring to feel we know someone well. For example, predicting what brings pleasure to someone we are close to forms the basis for thoughtful gift-giving.
Having trouble remembering the last time you succumbed to the impulse of assuming things about people you know well? If so, turn it around and try recalling the last time you befuddled someone close to you in this regard, i.e., you mention something you enjoy doing and someone close to you responds with genuine surprise. Or, maybe you say you are thinking about trying "X" and the idea elicits shock in someone who has known you a long time. I'm confident saying most of us make assumptions about those we think we know well as much - or more than - others make assumptions about us.
Although I don't surprise myself a great deal, I'm usually pleased when someone close to me is taken aback by something that strikes them as "not like Pat". I don't purposefully aim to shock and have no wish be enigmatic. Still, being occasionally unpredictable is kind of neat, even when assumptions - and even a hint of stereotyping - are in play. Case in point: I like Barry Manilow's music.
Hello, Pat. Interesting post and one that brings to my mind assumptions I have made, and still make, on occasions. I'll begin with a disclaimer that this is something I'm never comfortable doing. At times I find it's not fair to either the person I'm making assumptions about, or to me for thinking what I may be thinking. But ... and there have been times ... mostly in the political arena ... where I may look at someone and make an assumption that we probably agree or ... They don't. And what I find to be mildly amusing about all of this is that I am not a political person at all. To be honest I despise politics. But, at the same time, and especially over the course of the past 7 years or so, it has become something so divisive that it can weigh on ones mind. I have found it refreshing to find that someone who I thought would think differently actually doesn't But also disturbing, and upsetting, to find that someone I thought feels as I do, doesn't. For some, specifically some who I went through my late teens, twenties and thirties with, and assumed that since we were always liberal thinking and accepting, it was somewhat surprising to see such changes. But times change, people change and thoughts change. And in my mind, not always for the better. As for people being surprised about me .. I don't see it. I'm pretty much an open book, at least (again) in my mind. You pretty much see what you get. I find it works easier for me that way.
ReplyDeleteBe well,
Bob
Bob; Thanks for two comments in a day, again. Though I wasn't specifically thinking of politics while writing this, I agree the phenomenon I'm describing here certainly could play itself out in that arena as well.
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