Whenever capturing a kernel in my blog notebook that has potential to later put me on my high horse as I compose a post, I frequently add an admonishment right alongside the kernel. Of late, the one that seems to work best is "Be careful, Pat". Kind of a written equivalent of counting to ten before opening my mouth.
When e-mail first became popular, I recall once being instructed not to send anything written while angry or otherwise upset. It's possible that long-ago instruction prompted me to begin admonishing myself in my notebook. But even if there is no connection, being more deliberate before publishing 2600 blog posts has had some unintended and welcome consequences in my face-to-face interactions. I'm both more tactful and marginally less judgmental than I was fifteen years ago.Though no one is likely to mistake me for a Zen master, it's gratifying to feel myself growing. And my plan? Continue jotting down reminders to be careful. What strategies help you avoid that high horse?
I believe this approach also applies to your readers and those who comment. Bloggers and responders are not looking for pats on the back,….(sorry…couldn’t resist that) or for accolades about their thoughts and opinions. They are looking for discourse and an exchange of ideas. Unless comments are truly belligerent and rude then smart conversation can continue.
ReplyDeleteCookie; Thanks for comments, part one and two. Being genuine has never been an issue for me. Nor have I ever had much desire to please others. But when those two are combined with my impulsivity, I can do damage to myself and others. That's what I was getting at here.
DeleteThat's great advice, Cookie. We all need to monitor ourselves not to say or write some of the crazy things we think. But self-censorship should never lead us to say/write the controversial, deeply-felt things we need to say.
DeleteI agree with the 10 count rule. It is always wise to have a little reflection or perhaps perspective prior to sending off an email or writing a post/blog. I have not done that and regretted my knee jerk reaction. So, I salute you for bringing that into the conversation. Strategies: breathe and put it aside. Sometimes works, sometimes doesn't. As with other of your posts, a work in progress:).
ReplyDeleteInes; Thanks for the comment. That knee jerk stuff can get all of us in trouble if we're not careful. All this work in progress ... so little time.
DeleteI get this completely! I think of author Robert Caro (LBJ, Robt. Moses bios)when he would interview subjects he would write SU in the margin--that was for him to shut up and let them talk. And that is advice I need to follow myself. In my case--not so much impulsive as compulsive, as in compulsive talker. I'll probably never learn to SU.
ReplyDeleteRegina; Thanks for the comment. I like the Robert Caro anecdote. As for me, it's less about knowing when to stop talking than it is curbing my raging judgaholic when I'm writing. That high horse is often a disturbingly comfortable ride for me.
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