When I wrote the below back on March 21, I was disappointed it got no comments. I thought many people would be willing to share which people in their life had made a real difference to them.
http://reflectionsfromthebellcurve.blogspot.com/2011/03/george-bailey-list.html
I realize not many people may have read it. But after the post came up in a recent conversation, I re-read it and then pulled out my own George Bailey List. And I noticed something I'd previously missed.
Aside from my family, there is only one other "group" on my list that has a clear identifiable link: the four men who were my guitar teachers from 1978-2010. There is no doubt my world would be greatly diminished if these men had not been in my life. As far as I know, three of the four are still alive. I'm having dinner with my most recent guitar teacher (1997-2010) this weekend. I plan to tell him that he's on my George Bailey List if I haven't already. Then I'm going to contact teachers #2 and #3 (circa 1983-1996) and tell them as well. Practicing what I blog, you know?
My first guitar teacher, who my most recent guitar teacher also studied with, died some years ago. I'm sorry to say I didn't have a George Bailey List back then so I might not have ever told him how positively his life affected mine. I hope one person who reads this might consider that a cue. Even if you don't have a George Bailey List, surely there are George Baileys in your life who would appreciate knowing they are.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Monday, November 28, 2011
Surprise Me, Owen
What movie, TV, or stage role have you seen an established actor or actress take on that you felt was contrary to their "normal" persona?
It's possible the range of some actors precludes this happening that often. As much as I think I'd like to see Owen Wilson play a serial killer, I don't know if he has the acting chops to make it convincing. Or does he? Maybe his agent or manager talks him out of roles that are against type. Maybe the choice of what role to take is largely a function of the timing in an acting career. Maybe Owen hasn't been offered a good serial killer script. I've been getting a slow but steady education about all this via my adult daughter - it's her chosen field. She often points out things I'd have otherwise missed and nuances about acting as a craft.
But even with added education, I still long to be surprised. Several years ago I was blown away when Cameron Diaz convincingly played the frumpy (!!!) wife of John Cusack in "Being John Malkovitch". And though the movie itself was uneven, Tom Cruise was profane, un-heroic, bald (!!!) and fantastic in the recent "Tropic Thunder". So, when I watched the predictable "Knight and Day" a few nights ago with Diaz & Cruise playing Diaz & Cruise, I was diverted but un-moved and un-surprised.
It's possible the range of some actors precludes this happening that often. As much as I think I'd like to see Owen Wilson play a serial killer, I don't know if he has the acting chops to make it convincing. Or does he? Maybe his agent or manager talks him out of roles that are against type. Maybe the choice of what role to take is largely a function of the timing in an acting career. Maybe Owen hasn't been offered a good serial killer script. I've been getting a slow but steady education about all this via my adult daughter - it's her chosen field. She often points out things I'd have otherwise missed and nuances about acting as a craft.
But even with added education, I still long to be surprised. Several years ago I was blown away when Cameron Diaz convincingly played the frumpy (!!!) wife of John Cusack in "Being John Malkovitch". And though the movie itself was uneven, Tom Cruise was profane, un-heroic, bald (!!!) and fantastic in the recent "Tropic Thunder". So, when I watched the predictable "Knight and Day" a few nights ago with Diaz & Cruise playing Diaz & Cruise, I was diverted but un-moved and un-surprised.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Pre-Empting A Creative Tune-Up
When your creative engine begins stalling, how do you tune yourself up?
Since beginning this blog, I've discovered or re-discovered several reliable techniques for creative tune-ups. However, the single thing that has been most useful is not letting my engine stall in the first place. Instead, I've developed the habit of always having a little notebook with me to jot down any idea that later may be useful, no matter how unformed or "un-creative" the idea seems at the time. To use just one example, snippets of conversations often find their way into this notebook.
What I've noticed doing this is how frequently creative synergy occurs, i.e. several "blog droppings" from my notebook coalesce and become one. I've also noticed some of my tune-up techniques (a long drive or walk, reading, meditating, vigorous exercise, writing in my journal, a change of scenery) have been more productive now that the notebook is always nearby. When I return from tuning up (or sometimes in the midst of a tune-up) a germ of an idea is there. I capture the germ in the notebook. The notebook fills. I'm happy and I'm tuned up.
Since beginning this blog, I've discovered or re-discovered several reliable techniques for creative tune-ups. However, the single thing that has been most useful is not letting my engine stall in the first place. Instead, I've developed the habit of always having a little notebook with me to jot down any idea that later may be useful, no matter how unformed or "un-creative" the idea seems at the time. To use just one example, snippets of conversations often find their way into this notebook.
What I've noticed doing this is how frequently creative synergy occurs, i.e. several "blog droppings" from my notebook coalesce and become one. I've also noticed some of my tune-up techniques (a long drive or walk, reading, meditating, vigorous exercise, writing in my journal, a change of scenery) have been more productive now that the notebook is always nearby. When I return from tuning up (or sometimes in the midst of a tune-up) a germ of an idea is there. I capture the germ in the notebook. The notebook fills. I'm happy and I'm tuned up.
Friday, November 25, 2011
Thankful For A Tradition
On Thanksgiving, one of our family traditions is to have each person say the things they are thankful for. I don't remember when we started this or whose idea it was but I realized yesterday I'm thankful for the tradition itself. It reminds me how fortunate I am to be part of a family that acknowledges our love and appreciation for each other out loud. If we have guests on Thanksgiving, a fairly common occurrence, we also ask them to join in.
18 of us spoke yesterday, from age 7 to 63. Although four family members were missing, including my daughter, all of them were later brought in by phone when our words of thanks were temporarily upstaged by a marriage proposal. More for everyone in the family to be thankful for - the young man who proposed to my niece/Godchild is someone we've all loved since the first family gathering he spent with us; now it's official - he'll be a part of this wonderful family of mine.
Leo Tolstoy famously wrote "All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way". If the Count was right (I have my doubts), I particularly hope those happy families are alike in this way: Be as thankful for each other as the members of my family are.
18 of us spoke yesterday, from age 7 to 63. Although four family members were missing, including my daughter, all of them were later brought in by phone when our words of thanks were temporarily upstaged by a marriage proposal. More for everyone in the family to be thankful for - the young man who proposed to my niece/Godchild is someone we've all loved since the first family gathering he spent with us; now it's official - he'll be a part of this wonderful family of mine.
Leo Tolstoy famously wrote "All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way". If the Count was right (I have my doubts), I particularly hope those happy families are alike in this way: Be as thankful for each other as the members of my family are.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Key Learnings: Year 62
I'm 62 years young today. I've learned a lot over the last year, but in order to maintain my practice of keeping my blog posts short, here are a few of my key learnings from year 62.
1.) From Ben Franklin's "Poor Richard's Almanac", I learned to use the phrase "it's possible that..." in place of "I think" or "in my opinion". This has been helpful in my writing but even more so in conversation. I find using this phrase assists me to not take my own opinion (and by extension, myself) as seriously.
2.) Via her memoir called "Tolstoy and the Purple Chair", Nina Sankovitch taught me that calling a book "foolish" that a friend or relative has recommended to you is tantamount to calling the person foolish. Being the recovering judgaholic I am, this was akin to a 13th step. It's a powerful insight.
3.) From an act of inexcusable public behavior that I can term a fiasco without any exaggeration, I learned that my grade school teachers were astute observers when they said I sometimes lacked self-control. Lesson #2 from same source: To truly learn and grow, from now on I will resist any temptation to turn this incident (or any future bad behavior of mine) into stories with self-serving "morals".
How about you? What have been your key learnings over the last year? You surely don't need to be celebrating a birthday to consider this.
1.) From Ben Franklin's "Poor Richard's Almanac", I learned to use the phrase "it's possible that..." in place of "I think" or "in my opinion". This has been helpful in my writing but even more so in conversation. I find using this phrase assists me to not take my own opinion (and by extension, myself) as seriously.
2.) Via her memoir called "Tolstoy and the Purple Chair", Nina Sankovitch taught me that calling a book "foolish" that a friend or relative has recommended to you is tantamount to calling the person foolish. Being the recovering judgaholic I am, this was akin to a 13th step. It's a powerful insight.
3.) From an act of inexcusable public behavior that I can term a fiasco without any exaggeration, I learned that my grade school teachers were astute observers when they said I sometimes lacked self-control. Lesson #2 from same source: To truly learn and grow, from now on I will resist any temptation to turn this incident (or any future bad behavior of mine) into stories with self-serving "morals".
How about you? What have been your key learnings over the last year? You surely don't need to be celebrating a birthday to consider this.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Goal For Year 63
I'm usually in the dark about how many people read any one post on this blog; the stats I get only tell me of the number who've read the "top ten" posts and those change frequently. But for those who read this and then later actually remember what I'm committing to here, you can hold me accountable.
Between tomorrow (my 62nd birthday) and December 31 2012, I am going to build my solo jazz guitar repertoire to equal the size of my solo repertoire of 1978, the year I stopped playing for a living. The number of songs I'll need to fully know (i.e. melody, changes, & form for each, at minimum) to realize this goal is 300. For the past 20+ months I've spent a lot more time reading than I have with my guitar; time to change that ratio. And, I've been inspired by similar projects I've been exposed to over the past few years, beginning with the cooking endeavor that was depicted in the popular film "Julie & Julia" and most recently Nina Sankovitch reading a book every day for a year, the subject of her 2011 memoir called "Tolstoy and the Purple Chair".
Being the borderline obsessive I am, I spent some time earlier this morning drawing up my guidelines for this project. Drum roll, please: Here I go.
Between tomorrow (my 62nd birthday) and December 31 2012, I am going to build my solo jazz guitar repertoire to equal the size of my solo repertoire of 1978, the year I stopped playing for a living. The number of songs I'll need to fully know (i.e. melody, changes, & form for each, at minimum) to realize this goal is 300. For the past 20+ months I've spent a lot more time reading than I have with my guitar; time to change that ratio. And, I've been inspired by similar projects I've been exposed to over the past few years, beginning with the cooking endeavor that was depicted in the popular film "Julie & Julia" and most recently Nina Sankovitch reading a book every day for a year, the subject of her 2011 memoir called "Tolstoy and the Purple Chair".
Being the borderline obsessive I am, I spent some time earlier this morning drawing up my guidelines for this project. Drum roll, please: Here I go.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Word, Mr. Id
Mr. Id is not a fan of rap music. On more than one occasion he has been heard saying that by definition, music is comprised of melody, rhythm, and harmony; rap is absent one (sometimes two) of those three elements.
That said, Mr. Id often finds himself at odds with the view of people his own age who call rap worthless, offensive, dangerous. Clearly, those individual words can describe some rap, some of the time, just as they can describe some music from any genre. Mr. Id has been offended by some rap but for him that term of derision has more applicability to Muzak. Harsh, you say? Ok, but Mr. Id feels strongly that the phrase "background music" is itself an oxymoron. And don't get him started on Kenny G., who Mr.Id is convinced gets paid by the note the way Charles Dickens did by the word.
Mr. Id is also not fond of the misogyny or violence in some rap. But he and his contemporaries surely recall when Little Richard was thought to be "dangerous", Elvis was shown only from the waist up on TV, the Stones had to change their lyric to "Let's Spend Some Time (vs. "the Night") Together". Some of Mr. Id's contemporaries no doubt felt those things were not unreasonable back then, perhaps in the name of public morality. For the men in that group of Mr. Id's contemporaries - Tipper Gore is now available and Mr. Id will not stand in your way.
That said, Mr. Id often finds himself at odds with the view of people his own age who call rap worthless, offensive, dangerous. Clearly, those individual words can describe some rap, some of the time, just as they can describe some music from any genre. Mr. Id has been offended by some rap but for him that term of derision has more applicability to Muzak. Harsh, you say? Ok, but Mr. Id feels strongly that the phrase "background music" is itself an oxymoron. And don't get him started on Kenny G., who Mr.Id is convinced gets paid by the note the way Charles Dickens did by the word.
Mr. Id is also not fond of the misogyny or violence in some rap. But he and his contemporaries surely recall when Little Richard was thought to be "dangerous", Elvis was shown only from the waist up on TV, the Stones had to change their lyric to "Let's Spend Some Time (vs. "the Night") Together". Some of Mr. Id's contemporaries no doubt felt those things were not unreasonable back then, perhaps in the name of public morality. For the men in that group of Mr. Id's contemporaries - Tipper Gore is now available and Mr. Id will not stand in your way.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Little Blog - Big Question
Here's a big question for this little blog of mine: Do people ever change in fundamental ways?
Last night I watched the very funny Kristen Wiig/Maya Rudolph comedy "Bridesmaids". Although it was played for laughs, there was a good scene when the "Annie" character (Wiig) and her nemesis in the film ("Helen" - played by Rose Byrne) are asking this same big question about their mutual friend, the soon-to-be-married "Lillian" (Rudolph). I smiled as Annie & Helen bicker, each holding fast to their opposing positions. The scene itself remains funny in my mind, but while driving earlier today the central question it posed moved me to a whole different, not funny, place.
Where? To George Wallace, of all people. Toward the end of his colorful and controversial life, the Governor of Alabama and once rabid segregationist claimed he had seen the error of his earlier ways. And I clearly recall how skeptical I was back then regarding Wallace's purported about-face. In my self-righteous mind (not one of my better qualities), I refused to accept he could change in this fundamental way. Yet, I have many times expected, if not demanded, people accept that I've changed in fundamental ways. Did Wallace change? Have I? Can I? Have you? Can you? What do you think are the chances the screenwriters of "Bridesmaids" had this on their minds when they wrote that scene?
Last night I watched the very funny Kristen Wiig/Maya Rudolph comedy "Bridesmaids". Although it was played for laughs, there was a good scene when the "Annie" character (Wiig) and her nemesis in the film ("Helen" - played by Rose Byrne) are asking this same big question about their mutual friend, the soon-to-be-married "Lillian" (Rudolph). I smiled as Annie & Helen bicker, each holding fast to their opposing positions. The scene itself remains funny in my mind, but while driving earlier today the central question it posed moved me to a whole different, not funny, place.
Where? To George Wallace, of all people. Toward the end of his colorful and controversial life, the Governor of Alabama and once rabid segregationist claimed he had seen the error of his earlier ways. And I clearly recall how skeptical I was back then regarding Wallace's purported about-face. In my self-righteous mind (not one of my better qualities), I refused to accept he could change in this fundamental way. Yet, I have many times expected, if not demanded, people accept that I've changed in fundamental ways. Did Wallace change? Have I? Can I? Have you? Can you? What do you think are the chances the screenwriters of "Bridesmaids" had this on their minds when they wrote that scene?
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