Together, we were maneuvering the hairpin turns on a double black diamond trail in the Swiss Alps. As I masterfully handled the moguls while on a hair-raising turn that had foiled Olympic skiers in a recent trial for the winter games, I glanced over my shoulder and watched my wife tumble. The diagnosis? Broken kneecap. Ouch. She's now looking at a six-eight week stretch of limited mobility. Bummer.
Yeah, I made all that up. However, I'm encouraging my wife to explain away the immobilizing brace on her leg to anyone that asks using my exciting story. Because she is more honest and less flamboyant than me, I doubt she'll embrace the tall tale. But even if she doesn't, I plan to repeat it endlessly, if for no other reason than I was with her doing the hairpin turns before she fell. Tripping over a stool (i.e., the real story) vs. my glamorous tale? Sorry, no contest.
In the meanwhile, I recommend all of you strongly consider inventing your own tall tale for any future mishap that befalls you. And be sure to concoct your tale in advance to give yourself time to properly rehearse telling it. You don't want to hesitate or stumble on your words. Take it from me, your listeners will love it. Go on, tell me that first paragraph didn't grab you. I dare you.
Hey Pat. OK, I have to admit that the first paragraph definitely had my attention. And even after you told me what happened to Kim I have to say that 'embellishing' as you have done does make for a more interesting explanation than tripping over a stool. I, however, am not the flamboyant type and would never be mistaken for someone who would maneuver a hair pin curve on a black diamond trail. Hell, I don't even know how to swim. But, I do ride a motorcycle so I'm counting that as daring. And to Kim, our sincere best wishes for a speedy recovery.
ReplyDeleteBe well,
Bob
Bob; Glad I caught your eye with that opening. While on my regular Monday a.m. hike yesterday, I test drove my tale and saw how well it worked. This post began forming in my head that very moment. Thanks for five comments in one day; you're a mensch!
DeleteThanks for the laugh. And yes, the first paragraph grabbed me. Much like what you are looking for at the beginning of a book! Best wishes to Kim.
ReplyDeleteInes; Thrilled whenever I can provide a laugh. And thanks for the well wishes, already passed along.
DeleteActually, I was trail riding on a 2-year-old high-spirited thoroughbred. He nearly stepped on a rattlesnake, reared up and took off through the woods. He went a little too close to a tree, catching my knee and those...broken kneecap.
ReplyDeleteKim; Bravo! However, if you were wrangling a thoroughbred, I wouldn't have been there; that impinges on my glamour. So, I do not fully support this version.
DeletePat you’re missing something here. If you were with you where is the knight in shining armor rescuing her from harm?
ReplyDeleteSeveral years back I had two mishaps at the building where I worked. It was tempting to say I was sprinting to stop a crime or rescue someone from harm when they occurred. In truth, I lost my balance walking quickly in the parking garage the first time, and tripped over a loose floor mat the second. Pride hurt more than the injuries, thankfully. I also fell hard running the bases during the office softball game. People witnessed that one, ouch! These days I’m being careful, as the next tumble could be the last! Yikes. Wishing Kim a full recovery!
ReplyDeleteHey Jim; Thanks for the comment and the not-so-glamorous story. And I've already passed on your best wishes.
DeleteWouldn’t we all like to schuss a mogul trail as though Jon Claude Killy was our mentor. Or perhaps dive head first from a trapeze swinging out over the water. I chose the later task. With my heart pumping, I waited my turn at Action Park. I watched as though a group of acrobats were sailing through the air in rapid succession. Finally the bar swung in, and I jumped at my opportunity to live my fantasy. Akin to an Olympic feat there was an audience of thrill seekers verbally rating each performance.
ReplyDeleteAs I grabbed the bar, my hands revealed a total lack of upper body strength. My swan dive turned horizontal. Instead of being booed, an immense cry of sympathy rang out my score. My face smarted as if it had been knocked into Kingdom Come, but it was the witnesses and lack of self knowledge that pained the most. Pride cometh before a big fall. Sorry Kim, healing vibes sent. You probably sailed into the air, hopefully you didn’t have anyone watching.
"Anonymous"; Thanks for the comment. I love those trapeze things. Fortunately, my experiences with them have been more gratifying than yours. Ouch! Vibes have been passed along.
DeleteYour story about Kim breaking her kneecap on some slope
ReplyDeletein the Alps was lost on me since I knew the true story. Yet
I will admit that for those who didn't I'm sure it caught their
interest. However I would have injected that she was being
stalked by a YETI to make it more appealing to those out
there who are apt to believe in UFO's.
"Anonymous"; Thanks for the comment. I like the Yeti angle - that will make it into my next tall tale.
Delete