I'm comfortable asserting that there are few things guaranteed to make a more positive impression than folks who remember our name after meeting us just one time. Ever stopped to consider why such a simple thing as hearing someone you hardly know use your name has such an outsized impact on you?
Spending lots of time with my new grandson these last weeks has fortified my resolve to continue being that person who works diligently at remembering names. How many times in our early lives do we hear our names said by the people caring for us? Take a moment and think about the imprint our names make on each of us during infancy. Then think about the way you feel when someone new to you uses your name.
Nourishment, sleep, and touch help us thrive. I'm currently re-experiencing how critical each of these elements are in a new life. I submit that hearing our name satisfies another primal need in all of us, for all our lives. And knowing another person made an effort to remember our name makes that person stand apart from those who don't.
Reflections From The Bell Curve: That Name Thing
I just finished Elizabeth Strout's Tell Me Everything. One theme in the book is that of being heard. Hearing our name is an important part of feeling we are
ReplyDelete'being heard.' I too will be diligent about paying attention and remembering names. Thanks for the reminder.
Ines; You're welcome; thanks for the comment and for reminding me about Eilzabeth Strout. I've been meaning to return to her work.
DeleteI really love this latest book of hers!
DeleteThanks to your first comment above/reminder about Strout, yesterday I borrowed her 2021 book entitled "Anything Is Possible". I plan to start reading it later today. Bookworms unite!
DeleteHey Pat. Interesting post. I've usually been so much better with recognizing faces than remembering names. And it doesn't help that much when I tell myself that I know that person but .. what is their name ?? lol Tomorrow will be 6 years since I retired. In that time I have had a number of get togethers with people that I worked with, working closer with some than with others, as is usually the case. Recently my wife and I ran onto someone who we worked with for many years at a store. We both knew who it was. Knew it was someone from work. Knew the face. But the name ? What is their name ??? We did well talking with them for the 5-10 minutes or so at the time, but we both walked away not remembering the name. We were about 20 minutes into our drive home when my wife said 'Mary'!!! And she was right. I'm sure I would have eventually come up with the name also but, sadly, it took that long for either of us. Now, being retired for 5 1/2 years and 6 years respectively, and seeing the person in a completely different environment was probably a large part of this. But it still felt strange. We have a Retiree Association and meet 2-3 times a year for nice luncheons. I suggested that we start to use 'Hello, My Name Is ___' stickers and ti has helped greatly. In July 2025 I will be attending my 50th HS Reunion. And although I am looking forward to this very much I remember the last reunion we attended maybe 15 years ago. Again, I remember most of the faces, but those damn names - lol. I'm hoping those stickers will be put to good use.
ReplyDeleteAll of these stories - my usual digressions - go back to what you were saying in your post. How much it means to hear your name. Especially when it comes from someone you've known for a long time. There is a validation to it. There is a comfort to it. There is a chance that it will bring back some of the memories from when you and that person - or people - were much closer than we are now.
Be well,
Bob
Hey Bob; Happy new year! Your final statements above (after your "digressions", which BTW, I enjoy) get at the essence of what I was reflecting on here. As I heard my grandson's name said over and over by others this past month, I harkened back to a conversation I'd had on a hike with someone early in 2025. This hiker complimented me on the effort I made to use the names of our fellow hikers, most of whom I just met. And I remembered saying to her how "primal" is our response when hearing our names. Hearing everyone recently cooing my grandson's name to him just reinforced the earlier observation I'd made to that fellow hiker. This post took over nine months to take its final shape, brief as it is. But that's how my creative process works, for better or worse.
DeletePat, one of my pet peeves is meeting people for the fourth or fifth time and having them not only not remember my name but to have them act as if they are meeting me for the first time. And I'm standing there thinking, Am I really that forgettable?
ReplyDeleteJim; Thanks for the comment. I share that pet peeve. I mean, come on!
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