Still waters run deep.
Although that hoary maxim may have some aqua-related validity, I'm about ready to jettison it in its most often-used application, i.e., with people. My life experience has repeatedly taught me that the enduring strong-silent archetype of literature etc. is often flawed. Perhaps some of those still waters run deep, but then again, they can also be stagnant.
Before the strong, silent introverts out there begin objecting, I freely acknowledge that we extroverts - at times - have clearly earned our bad rep. Being called outspoken, opinionated, and arrogant have all applied to my mouthing off on occasion. On the other hand, isn't it possible that some taciturn types are silent as frequently as they are because they don't have much to say? A few traits I've observed in some still waters folks have tempted me to toss that tenacious trope into the nearest dumpster. Two examples:
* A tendency to paint the world in black & white, either/or terms. Those bi-polar constructs exclude any kind of multi-dimensional thinking while also reinforcing confirmation bias. When nuance is misplaced - by either still waters man/woman or an extrovert like me - shallow conclusions, not deep ones, are the result. In other words, keeping it simple is fine; offering simple-minded answers to complex questions doesn't automatically make someone deep.
* A predilection for staying on the surface both in relationships and conversations. More than one strong silent type I've known has told me they don't need "...any new friends...". Transactional relationships are OK; those pose little risk of intimacy. You know, what you can do for me or mine is fine. What either of us can do for the world? What for? And the conversations? Many of mine with the still waters cohort I've known have focused on either other people or events; sports are reliably safe. Over the years, I've tried intermittently to introduce ideas, feelings, life dreams, etc. into some of those conversations. Hasn't gone well.
What is your take on this maxim?
Pat, first of all you are an amazing writer!!
ReplyDeleteRe: still waters run deep.
I guess I think of that applying in an after the fact kind of way, that many of the deepest thinkers and communicators I know, had rather quiet demeanors, for example our dear friends Herb and Sarah, and for that matter, many others of our Rogue Scholar group.
Elsa; Thanks for the lovely compliment; greatly appreciated. And I wholly agree about Herb & Sarah and their "quiet demeanors". Obviously, people like them - and others among the introverts in our group - were NOT who I had in mind writing this post. Great to see a comment from you here in Bartonstan now and again.
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