It's possible the movie "Witness" has stayed with me for many years because of the way it seamlessly blended three disparate elements; it was a convincing love story, an intense police thriller, and a non-patronizing examination of a unique culture. If I'm right, Junot Diaz' 2007 novel "The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao" will remain with me even longer.
This book has so many ingredients, I savored it like a good meal. Here's my incomplete recipe:
* Take one teenage misfit, searching for love;
* Add a significant taste of the brutal modern day history of the Dominican Republic;
* Mix in believable elements of a complex sibling relationship, including a dash of assimilation and feminism;
* Let it all simmer in a multi-generational immigrant sauce, made of equal parts romance, race, violence and sex;
* Be sure to mix up the ingredients and feel no obligation to follow the recipe in order.
A sure test of this author's skill? Though telegraphed in the title, the eponymous character's undoing still packed a wallop. I suppose a small measure of my enjoyment was related to the familiar New Jersey locales and a modern sensibility, but what Diaz concocted here is a story for anywhere, anytime.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
A Whole Chicken Coop Vs. An IHOP Omelette
I'm quite invested in hearing responses to today's chicken and egg question. In your experience, is lasting change a result of shifting your language or does your language shift after you've initiated a change?
When first beginning to teach adults in the early 90's, one of my favorite mantras was "change your language, change your life." Based on reading the work of Albert Ellis, among others, I thought I'd seen evidence of how shifting my own language produced lasting change in my world. To cite just one example, I noticed back then how limiting my use of the word "should", when directed inward, helped me not beat myself up as much. Also: Limiting use of that same word when talking to others seemed to reduce the defensiveness I'd often engendered, particularly in loved ones. This one variety of cognitive restructuring Ellis calls "shoulding on yourself or others". This and the other language-driven changes I observed seemed dramatic to me.
Now, with 20 years of perspective, I'm wondering: Was it instead all that reading that first changed me in some fundamental way and perhaps my language shifted after I'd begun changing? A conversation with one of my wife's colleagues who shares an interest in neuro-linguistic programming started me down this latest chicken and egg path. After watching him wrestle with the question posed in the first paragraph above, I thought others on the bell curve might be interested in weighing in. Come on; it's a good 'un.
When first beginning to teach adults in the early 90's, one of my favorite mantras was "change your language, change your life." Based on reading the work of Albert Ellis, among others, I thought I'd seen evidence of how shifting my own language produced lasting change in my world. To cite just one example, I noticed back then how limiting my use of the word "should", when directed inward, helped me not beat myself up as much. Also: Limiting use of that same word when talking to others seemed to reduce the defensiveness I'd often engendered, particularly in loved ones. This one variety of cognitive restructuring Ellis calls "shoulding on yourself or others". This and the other language-driven changes I observed seemed dramatic to me.
Now, with 20 years of perspective, I'm wondering: Was it instead all that reading that first changed me in some fundamental way and perhaps my language shifted after I'd begun changing? A conversation with one of my wife's colleagues who shares an interest in neuro-linguistic programming started me down this latest chicken and egg path. After watching him wrestle with the question posed in the first paragraph above, I thought others on the bell curve might be interested in weighing in. Come on; it's a good 'un.
Monday, January 14, 2013
Everyday Inspiration
What are your most reliable sources of everyday inspiration?
It's easy to get roped into the notion that inspiration is somehow reserved for artists. I've heard more than one claim made by someone in the public eye about "larger than life" inspirations. Mine are invariably less grandiose.
* I'm inspired looking at my books.
* I'm inspired when someone I know uses a fitting metaphor.
* I'm inspired when a guitar student has a learning breakthrough.
My life is not real glamorous; sometimes that makes me low. But inspiration is around me all the time; it's up to me to make something out of the everyday.
It's easy to get roped into the notion that inspiration is somehow reserved for artists. I've heard more than one claim made by someone in the public eye about "larger than life" inspirations. Mine are invariably less grandiose.
* I'm inspired looking at my books.
* I'm inspired when someone I know uses a fitting metaphor.
* I'm inspired when a guitar student has a learning breakthrough.
My life is not real glamorous; sometimes that makes me low. But inspiration is around me all the time; it's up to me to make something out of the everyday.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
AMWAYED, Again
Many people know AMWAY as the company that widely popularized multi-level marketing. Although embarrassing to admit, early in adult life I was duped more than once into attending AMWAY meetings. The intentional obfuscation surrounding the invitations to attend those meetings partially explains how I was hoodwinked, but my motivation to attend was less sullied than the disingenuous people who'd invited me - I wanted to connect. Selling cleaning product was not in my future, however.
It's been a long time since I've been manipulated by an AMWAY rep. But my need to connect with others has not abated. When sensing a connection is possible, I barrel ahead, trust others, accept invitations. My assumption? We're on a similar page. I've been wrong and have scar tissue to show for it. After a recent disappointment, naive was among the kinder words I was called. It's possible my radar will always need more calibration than most.
But giving up is not in the cards. I'll remain vulnerable because that's the surest way I know to meaningfully connect. I'll continue telling people how I feel about them even when my words are not reciprocated or even when I'm unsure of their feelings about me. And I'm pretty sure I'll get "AMWAYED" again in the future; I'm more sure I'll bounce back quickly and begin again.
It's been a long time since I've been manipulated by an AMWAY rep. But my need to connect with others has not abated. When sensing a connection is possible, I barrel ahead, trust others, accept invitations. My assumption? We're on a similar page. I've been wrong and have scar tissue to show for it. After a recent disappointment, naive was among the kinder words I was called. It's possible my radar will always need more calibration than most.
But giving up is not in the cards. I'll remain vulnerable because that's the surest way I know to meaningfully connect. I'll continue telling people how I feel about them even when my words are not reciprocated or even when I'm unsure of their feelings about me. And I'm pretty sure I'll get "AMWAYED" again in the future; I'm more sure I'll bounce back quickly and begin again.
Friday, January 11, 2013
K Through 63 And Counting
Aside from your family of origin, who do you have contact with that goes back farthest in your life? What impact has that relationship had on you, for better or worse?
I joined Facebook in March 2011 for a selfish reason. The website hosting my blog, started earlier that same month, suggested social networking as a potential means to reach more people. And though that strategy has worked, Facebook delivered a more noteworthy gift several months ago.
We were born a month apart, lived in the same neighborhood, started kindergarten the same year, then spent K-12 in the same three schools in Irvington. Choice of colleges were different, but as my college rock n' roll band formed, he was drafted on keyboards and vocals; during those years we were inseparable. Early adult life took hold; the musical connection remained. In the mid 80's, on a foray to check out a smoking 10 piece band, discovered to our mutual delight we lived less than a mile from each other in Scotch Plains. Dinners, getting re-acquainted with his wife and younger sister, singing at parties, more music, at least one New Year's Eve together. Later adult life; a slightly longer break. Facebook, dinner out last fall, tomorrow - dinner at his home; my guitar will be with me.
Please excuse the excessive exposition. But this longtime friend deserves so much more. His impact on my life? Beginning in grammar school, he was the musician in town. All state trumpet; played piano & guitar almost as well. When he was forming a high school rock n' roll band, I was drafted to play drums, although I'd never had a set of drumsticks in my 13 year old hands. That was 50 years ago. What would my life have been without this friend? George Bailey, aka Jimmy Stewart, hear any bells ringing?
I joined Facebook in March 2011 for a selfish reason. The website hosting my blog, started earlier that same month, suggested social networking as a potential means to reach more people. And though that strategy has worked, Facebook delivered a more noteworthy gift several months ago.
We were born a month apart, lived in the same neighborhood, started kindergarten the same year, then spent K-12 in the same three schools in Irvington. Choice of colleges were different, but as my college rock n' roll band formed, he was drafted on keyboards and vocals; during those years we were inseparable. Early adult life took hold; the musical connection remained. In the mid 80's, on a foray to check out a smoking 10 piece band, discovered to our mutual delight we lived less than a mile from each other in Scotch Plains. Dinners, getting re-acquainted with his wife and younger sister, singing at parties, more music, at least one New Year's Eve together. Later adult life; a slightly longer break. Facebook, dinner out last fall, tomorrow - dinner at his home; my guitar will be with me.
Please excuse the excessive exposition. But this longtime friend deserves so much more. His impact on my life? Beginning in grammar school, he was the musician in town. All state trumpet; played piano & guitar almost as well. When he was forming a high school rock n' roll band, I was drafted to play drums, although I'd never had a set of drumsticks in my 13 year old hands. That was 50 years ago. What would my life have been without this friend? George Bailey, aka Jimmy Stewart, hear any bells ringing?
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Synaptic Spark On Steroids
When you think of New York City what filmmaker comes to mind? I hear a nasal voiceover:
"That's how quickly New York City comes about - like a weather vane - or the head of a cobra. Time tells which".
"Rules of Civility" (2011), the debut novel of Amor Towles, is a New York City valentine waiting to be filmed by Woody Allen. Not only is New York City a main character, the story takes place in 1938 so imagine Woody's soundtrack. Unlike his past movies, when he has ignored the existence of rock n' roll, this time it will be historically accurate!
And, now that the Woodster's movies appear to have outgrown his sexual Peter Pan shtick, his casting of the three young principals from Towles' novel could be inspired. There's even a good bit part for Woody himself - "Nathaniel Parrish was a senior fiction editor at the Pembroke Press and something of a fixture". Even that name is perfect for him; can't you see the eyeglasses? I'm sincerely anxious to compare my casting choices from this wonderful book with anyone who reads it. Really.
"As we sat there, dusk was falling and the lights of the city were coming on one by one in ways even Edison hadn't imagined." Who else could possibly do as much with that visual as Woody Allen? This is not just a synaptic spark; it's a forest fire. I may have to go to a Knicks game soon.
"That's how quickly New York City comes about - like a weather vane - or the head of a cobra. Time tells which".
"Rules of Civility" (2011), the debut novel of Amor Towles, is a New York City valentine waiting to be filmed by Woody Allen. Not only is New York City a main character, the story takes place in 1938 so imagine Woody's soundtrack. Unlike his past movies, when he has ignored the existence of rock n' roll, this time it will be historically accurate!
And, now that the Woodster's movies appear to have outgrown his sexual Peter Pan shtick, his casting of the three young principals from Towles' novel could be inspired. There's even a good bit part for Woody himself - "Nathaniel Parrish was a senior fiction editor at the Pembroke Press and something of a fixture". Even that name is perfect for him; can't you see the eyeglasses? I'm sincerely anxious to compare my casting choices from this wonderful book with anyone who reads it. Really.
"As we sat there, dusk was falling and the lights of the city were coming on one by one in ways even Edison hadn't imagined." Who else could possibly do as much with that visual as Woody Allen? This is not just a synaptic spark; it's a forest fire. I may have to go to a Knicks game soon.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Mongolia 47 - Iran 22
This hosting site provides me with lots of cool information, including countries that have stumbled across the blog. Being a semi-compulsive list maker and a geography freak, I've kept a list. As of the end of December, 47 countries have fallen onto my bell curve. And now, I've decided on a way to utilize this useless data. Drum roll, please...
Effective immediately, those keyword searching countries move to the top of the queue in the "Eat Around the World" project. Faithful (sic) readers will recall my wife and I began that culinary undertaking about a week after the inception of this blog. Really faithful readers (sick) will also recall a few project updates scattered across the ensuing 22 months.
Which brings me to the ingenious (very sic or sick) title of this post. Mongolia is the most recent and 47th unique country culled from my blog stats. On New Year's Eve, Iran became the latest and 22nd unique cuisine we've sampled since March 2011. Which countries from these two worthless lists already overlap you ask? Of those countries from the blog list not yet feasted on, which is next in the vittles queue you wonder? Another drum roll...
Effective immediately, those keyword searching countries move to the top of the queue in the "Eat Around the World" project. Faithful (sic) readers will recall my wife and I began that culinary undertaking about a week after the inception of this blog. Really faithful readers (sick) will also recall a few project updates scattered across the ensuing 22 months.
Which brings me to the ingenious (very sic or sick) title of this post. Mongolia is the most recent and 47th unique country culled from my blog stats. On New Year's Eve, Iran became the latest and 22nd unique cuisine we've sampled since March 2011. Which countries from these two worthless lists already overlap you ask? Of those countries from the blog list not yet feasted on, which is next in the vittles queue you wonder? Another drum roll...
Monday, January 7, 2013
Overcooked Adjectives
I like adjectives as much as the next person, something even erratic readers of this blog already know. But, paraphrasing Albert Ellis, many people "over-awfulize". Ellis' examples usually referred to things people say to themselves that create cognitive traps and in turn, stress. My examples are instead things I've heard, out loud, way too often - overcooked adjectives. Please join my cranky rant and offer up your own.
* I was devastated. Really? Not just disappointed? And the flip side...
* I was ecstatic. Honestly? How about happy? Glad? Very happy? Very glad?
* It was amazing or...incredible...or my favorite...unbelievable. Not just noteworthy, perhaps?
Many years ago, during one of the periods State government was laying off employees, a colleague of mine referred to that regrettable state of affairs as a "travesty". And though that noun seemed a bit strong, she briskly moved onto "awful", "terrible" and "horrible". In the midst of her overcooking, I recall being unable to get Andre the Giant out of my mind. Remember that scene from "The Princess Bride" when Andre confronts Wallace Shawn about his misuse of the word "inconceivable?" Ever since, with mixed success, I've tried to keep Andre in my head whenever I'm tempted to overcook.
* I was devastated. Really? Not just disappointed? And the flip side...
* I was ecstatic. Honestly? How about happy? Glad? Very happy? Very glad?
* It was amazing or...incredible...or my favorite...unbelievable. Not just noteworthy, perhaps?
Many years ago, during one of the periods State government was laying off employees, a colleague of mine referred to that regrettable state of affairs as a "travesty". And though that noun seemed a bit strong, she briskly moved onto "awful", "terrible" and "horrible". In the midst of her overcooking, I recall being unable to get Andre the Giant out of my mind. Remember that scene from "The Princess Bride" when Andre confronts Wallace Shawn about his misuse of the word "inconceivable?" Ever since, with mixed success, I've tried to keep Andre in my head whenever I'm tempted to overcook.
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