One distinct advantage to having an actress daughter is being turned onto worthwhile films even a geek like me might otherwise have skipped. "Obvious Child" - starring the precociously talented Jenny Slate as an "almost 30" year old experiencing many of the issues young adults grapple with - is such a film. Who keeps you on your toes vis-a-vis good movies not featuring your own demographic?
"Obvious Child" is not for everyone. It's profane, New York-ish, and politically liberal. It's also very funny, somber in exactly the right places, and spot-on accurate in its portrayal of the evolving relationship young adults have with parents. Because I watched it on a day spent with my daughter, it's possible I was primed to be favorably disposed toward scenes with the main character and her parents. But the most moving scene was a shot of just the main character's face entering anesthesia and the funniest was a dinner the main character shares with her two best friends as they riff on feminism and relationships.
"Obvious Child" was not aimed at me. But it is so far superior to the tired ("Last Vegas"), distancing ("Bucket List"), or mildly depressing ("Robot & Frank") dreck that Hollywood routinely tries to jam down the collective throat of baby boomers. The young characters in "Obvious Child" have much more appeal than the lecherous (Michael Douglas "...Vegas") fabulously wealthy (Jack Nicholson - "Bucket...") and senile (Frank Langella - "Robot...") asses populating many films ostensibly aimed at lifting me up. Note to Hollywood execs: Your aim is off.
Saturday, November 29, 2014
Friday, November 28, 2014
My Grade (So Far): Influence
influence: the capacity or power to produce effects on others by intangible or indirect means.
Given the dictionary definition does not specify whether the "effects" are good, bad or indifferent, settling on a self-grade for influence can be problematic. And the word power in that definition points me toward some of history's most notorious characters, some of whom have been highly influential and highly toxic.
But since my last post on Wednesday touched on influence from a posture of abundance, my reflections about this attribute over the last few days have been more benign. How many people would you say you've influenced in a positive manner over your lifetime? What has been your method for exerting that influence? Who has been the most influential for you, in a positive way? What's the difference between being influential and being persuasive?
My grade (so far) for influence? For the time I've spent educating others, I'll give myself an "A", for my misbehavior and the resulting bad effect it had on some others I give myself an "F", and for all the stuff in between I'll take a "C". How about you?
Given the dictionary definition does not specify whether the "effects" are good, bad or indifferent, settling on a self-grade for influence can be problematic. And the word power in that definition points me toward some of history's most notorious characters, some of whom have been highly influential and highly toxic.
But since my last post on Wednesday touched on influence from a posture of abundance, my reflections about this attribute over the last few days have been more benign. How many people would you say you've influenced in a positive manner over your lifetime? What has been your method for exerting that influence? Who has been the most influential for you, in a positive way? What's the difference between being influential and being persuasive?
My grade (so far) for influence? For the time I've spent educating others, I'll give myself an "A", for my misbehavior and the resulting bad effect it had on some others I give myself an "F", and for all the stuff in between I'll take a "C". How about you?
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Making A Difference
Although I'm clearly more optimist than pessimist, it's still easy for me to get discouraged thinking about how much of a difference I make in the world. Other optimists - sound at all familiar?
Recently heard an anecdote that has helped me frame my dilemma in a more positive light. A couple I know have patronized the same skating rink for several years. After some lobbying, the proprietors of the rink agreed to play music provided by the husband, a serious jazz aficionado. One of the younger regulars who also skates there told the husband how much he has grown to appreciate Miles Davis, Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong. "You never know who is paying attention", this friend first commented to his wife and then later to me when sharing his story. So simple, so true.
There's a corollary to my friend's pertinent takeaway. It can be relatively easy to subtly yet profoundly influence others. Now if the optimist and the teacher in me would just remember this framing the next time I begin getting discouraged about making a difference. If you have a story illustrating my friend's takeaway or my corollary, why not share it? Your stories are yet another means to help fortify that framing.
Recently heard an anecdote that has helped me frame my dilemma in a more positive light. A couple I know have patronized the same skating rink for several years. After some lobbying, the proprietors of the rink agreed to play music provided by the husband, a serious jazz aficionado. One of the younger regulars who also skates there told the husband how much he has grown to appreciate Miles Davis, Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong. "You never know who is paying attention", this friend first commented to his wife and then later to me when sharing his story. So simple, so true.
There's a corollary to my friend's pertinent takeaway. It can be relatively easy to subtly yet profoundly influence others. Now if the optimist and the teacher in me would just remember this framing the next time I begin getting discouraged about making a difference. If you have a story illustrating my friend's takeaway or my corollary, why not share it? Your stories are yet another means to help fortify that framing.
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Wrestling Since The Learner's Permit Days
In what area of life do you find yourself most often wrestling with impatience?
Fresh on the heels of yet another example of irrationally losing my patience with a driver, I'm thinking it may be high time to let go more when behind the wheel. One of the late George Carlin's best bits riffed on this human foible when he asked how it could be so many of us characterize other drivers as either a "MANIAC!" (e.g. driving too fast, switching lanes furiously, running yellow lights) or... an "IDIOT!" (e.g. driving too slow, switching lanes without blinker, stopping for yellow lights). Ah yes, perspective.
Also, since the sorest spot in my 36 year marriage is when my wife and I are in the car together, there's another reason to begin flexing those Buddhist muscles. More serenity, less impatience - has to make our joint driving time more pleasant, right?
And, if you're one of those saints who doesn't lose your patience with others (driving or otherwise), lest you think you've escaped, here's your question: In what way do you test the patience of others? I'll accept comments from someone who claims to not lose their patience and also not test the patience of others only if that person provides visual proof of walking on water. Otherwise, own up, OK?
Fresh on the heels of yet another example of irrationally losing my patience with a driver, I'm thinking it may be high time to let go more when behind the wheel. One of the late George Carlin's best bits riffed on this human foible when he asked how it could be so many of us characterize other drivers as either a "MANIAC!" (e.g. driving too fast, switching lanes furiously, running yellow lights) or... an "IDIOT!" (e.g. driving too slow, switching lanes without blinker, stopping for yellow lights). Ah yes, perspective.
Also, since the sorest spot in my 36 year marriage is when my wife and I are in the car together, there's another reason to begin flexing those Buddhist muscles. More serenity, less impatience - has to make our joint driving time more pleasant, right?
And, if you're one of those saints who doesn't lose your patience with others (driving or otherwise), lest you think you've escaped, here's your question: In what way do you test the patience of others? I'll accept comments from someone who claims to not lose their patience and also not test the patience of others only if that person provides visual proof of walking on water. Otherwise, own up, OK?
Sunday, November 23, 2014
Key Learnings: Year 65
Before beginning to compose this birthday post each year, I review entries contained in a few of my writing buckets including my regular & book journals and any blog posts that uncover the word "learning" in a keyword search. I do this to help ensure more recent lessons don't end up carrying more weight because of their proximity. What have been your key learnings over the past year? As you consider that, pay attention to your thoughts. Do the more recent learnings loom larger? How far back is the oldest?
* I learned this year how hard it is making the transition from short form to long form writing. Beginning in early 2014 with my 2000 word submission for a magazine contest and continuing through the rest of this year as I slowly chipped away at something much longer, this was a humbling learning experience. And it fortified my resolve not to publicly bash books I don't like. I haven't yet earned the right to do so.
* From many of the adult students who took courses I taught at some local community colleges, I learned to trust my sense of humor more.
* And most recently, I learned a profound lesson from a good friend's comment on my blog post marking the day my Mother died. He said "...many good and loving people never make headlines but ...they do make a difference."
Your turn.
* I learned this year how hard it is making the transition from short form to long form writing. Beginning in early 2014 with my 2000 word submission for a magazine contest and continuing through the rest of this year as I slowly chipped away at something much longer, this was a humbling learning experience. And it fortified my resolve not to publicly bash books I don't like. I haven't yet earned the right to do so.
* From many of the adult students who took courses I taught at some local community colleges, I learned to trust my sense of humor more.
* And most recently, I learned a profound lesson from a good friend's comment on my blog post marking the day my Mother died. He said "...many good and loving people never make headlines but ...they do make a difference."
Your turn.
Saturday, November 22, 2014
Goal For Year 66
For the past three years - via a blog post - I've "publicly" declared a goal (2011 & 2013) or goals (three in 2012) on this date, the day before my birthday. Five goals over three years. What I've learned or re-learned via this exercise:
* It's a good thing no one is holding me accountable. My batting average is .200 so far.
* Either the goals were not realistic to start or... I've taken my eye off the ball too frequently.
* I'm very pleased I began this process.
Had I not publicly declared my 2011 goal (expanding my repertoire on jazz guitar to 300 songs), I'm certain I'd have not made the progress on the instrument I have since then. And even though I adjusted that number down in 2012 - and did not make the lower number either - my playing has never made me happier. Journey, not destination.
Another 2012 goal - getting the number of national cuisines my wife and I have sampled up to 64 by November 2013- was not accomplished. But we're fast approaching that number. And though I also missed my one goal from this date last year - acknowledging a different George Bailey each week - the joy I've derived and given contacting the folks that I have far outweighs the disappointment about not reaching the goal.
So, I'm making this year's goal really easy to get me into Hall Of Fame territory (i.e. 2 for 6, aka .333). After reaching 1000 published blog posts (at my current pace - near mid-April, 2015), I'm going to host a party. Live music, family, good friends and blog readers (provided I know who you are), delicious eats. Why not share with me and others - online now or at that party - your goal(s) for the next year?
* It's a good thing no one is holding me accountable. My batting average is .200 so far.
* Either the goals were not realistic to start or... I've taken my eye off the ball too frequently.
* I'm very pleased I began this process.
Had I not publicly declared my 2011 goal (expanding my repertoire on jazz guitar to 300 songs), I'm certain I'd have not made the progress on the instrument I have since then. And even though I adjusted that number down in 2012 - and did not make the lower number either - my playing has never made me happier. Journey, not destination.
Another 2012 goal - getting the number of national cuisines my wife and I have sampled up to 64 by November 2013- was not accomplished. But we're fast approaching that number. And though I also missed my one goal from this date last year - acknowledging a different George Bailey each week - the joy I've derived and given contacting the folks that I have far outweighs the disappointment about not reaching the goal.
So, I'm making this year's goal really easy to get me into Hall Of Fame territory (i.e. 2 for 6, aka .333). After reaching 1000 published blog posts (at my current pace - near mid-April, 2015), I'm going to host a party. Live music, family, good friends and blog readers (provided I know who you are), delicious eats. Why not share with me and others - online now or at that party - your goal(s) for the next year?
Thursday, November 20, 2014
Still Playing Forward: Jennifer Egan
Feel free to put today's post - detailing a now-obsolete dilemma - into the over-thinking bucket.
Three years ago, I was so blown away with Jennifer Egan's "A Visit From The Goon Squad" (2010) I could not stop raving about it. I blogged, I effused, I bought it as a holiday gift for several people. But I also avoided trying any of Egan's back catalog - didn't want to risk disappointment. See what I mean about over-thinking? Yet .. I'm guessing the more honest of you might admit having had a similar experience with an author.
"Look At Me" (2001) is not quite as dazzling as "...Goon Squad". But that's like saying "In My Life" is not quite as amazing as "If I Fell". When talking about craft at this level, who cares? This earlier novel is so rich with ideas, spectacular prose and memorable characters, saying what it's "about" feels superfluous. But for the record, it's a thriller, a meditation on identity, an exploration of the toxicity of celebrity. And it was so prescient about 21st century terrorism the author was obligated to add an afterword soon after its release. Read the middle of page 445, double check the copyright and try not to marvel at Egan's fertile imagination.
I'm now more convinced than ever that Egan belongs alongside Toni Morrison as a forward on an all star basketball team of contemporary authors. When you read her work please tell me if you agree.
http://reflectionsfromthebellcurve.blogspot.com/2012/05/attention-sports-fans.html
Three years ago, I was so blown away with Jennifer Egan's "A Visit From The Goon Squad" (2010) I could not stop raving about it. I blogged, I effused, I bought it as a holiday gift for several people. But I also avoided trying any of Egan's back catalog - didn't want to risk disappointment. See what I mean about over-thinking? Yet .. I'm guessing the more honest of you might admit having had a similar experience with an author.
"Look At Me" (2001) is not quite as dazzling as "...Goon Squad". But that's like saying "In My Life" is not quite as amazing as "If I Fell". When talking about craft at this level, who cares? This earlier novel is so rich with ideas, spectacular prose and memorable characters, saying what it's "about" feels superfluous. But for the record, it's a thriller, a meditation on identity, an exploration of the toxicity of celebrity. And it was so prescient about 21st century terrorism the author was obligated to add an afterword soon after its release. Read the middle of page 445, double check the copyright and try not to marvel at Egan's fertile imagination.
I'm now more convinced than ever that Egan belongs alongside Toni Morrison as a forward on an all star basketball team of contemporary authors. When you read her work please tell me if you agree.
http://reflectionsfromthebellcurve.blogspot.com/2012/05/attention-sports-fans.html
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
It's Patrick
What is one thing about your first name that has occasionally bedeviled you?
Patrick is not a name tied to any wildly popular song that people can annoyingly sing to me as I often have to women named Sherry, Donna & Susan. Actually, if my name has ever been the title of a song I've never heard of it. There are some sexual epithets that rhyme with my name but given the many male monikers that double for genitalia, I happily accept those obnoxious rhymes.
The pun possibilities using the shortened version of my name (care for a ... of butter?; please don't ... me down; are you getting this down ...?) have not always been 100% welcome but here as well, I've fared better than the Matts, Arts, and Phils of the world. Patricks from history? Got a saint and a Revolutionary War era patriot. The bad guys? Not as widely known. Villains from books and film? Not that many.
If YouTube had never been invented, I might have escaped relatively unscathed. But with people able to indefinitely watch "It's Pat" - a Saturday Night Live bit from the early 90's - I'm now strongly re-considering a lifelong habit of using the shortened version of my name. Call me Patrick, OK? Yes, I know it rhymes perfectly with hat trick but the hockey reference can at least be useful as a metaphor. What possible metaphorical value can be attached to that Julia Sweeney character?
Patrick is not a name tied to any wildly popular song that people can annoyingly sing to me as I often have to women named Sherry, Donna & Susan. Actually, if my name has ever been the title of a song I've never heard of it. There are some sexual epithets that rhyme with my name but given the many male monikers that double for genitalia, I happily accept those obnoxious rhymes.
The pun possibilities using the shortened version of my name (care for a ... of butter?; please don't ... me down; are you getting this down ...?) have not always been 100% welcome but here as well, I've fared better than the Matts, Arts, and Phils of the world. Patricks from history? Got a saint and a Revolutionary War era patriot. The bad guys? Not as widely known. Villains from books and film? Not that many.
If YouTube had never been invented, I might have escaped relatively unscathed. But with people able to indefinitely watch "It's Pat" - a Saturday Night Live bit from the early 90's - I'm now strongly re-considering a lifelong habit of using the shortened version of my name. Call me Patrick, OK? Yes, I know it rhymes perfectly with hat trick but the hockey reference can at least be useful as a metaphor. What possible metaphorical value can be attached to that Julia Sweeney character?
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