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Saturday, July 6, 2019

Grateful For The Seduction

Been reflecting quite a bit lately on some of my stories. The one where music transformed my life - a favorite among the ones I most frequently repeat - has, in particular, received a great deal of recent scrutiny. Examined any of your stories carefully lately?

The details of that story have been truthful. At the time it did feel like the short drum break in He's So Fine, the harmonies in Surfer Girl and If I Fell, the energy of She's Not There and You Really Got Me all grabbed me at a molecular level. At the urging of a talented middle school friend who was starting a band, I did start playing the drums and singing at thirteen. I did begin making money playing music soon after and have been doing so ever since.  

But of late, my story has begun sounding a little inauthentic to my ears. I'm recalling the younger Pat who was more seduced by music than he was transformed by it. He wanted things from music like glamour, excitement, notoriety. He gave no thought to what he could contribute to the art form and he didn't work hard enough at it to earn the rewards. Transformed now rings hollow to the older Pat.

Though being seduced by music may not be as profound as being transformed by music, it is more accurate. And it's also accurate to say that music continues to sustain me in ways that are difficult to measure. That part of my story remains wholly intact.      

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