Open Letter To Miles Nadal

Dear Mr. Nadal;

Re your recent purchase of a pair of 1972 Nike Waffle Racing Flat "Moon Shoes" for $437,500 at Sotheby's. I was wondering - Do you plan to ever wear these rare sneakers? More importantly, are they in your size?

Assuming they are in your size and you do plan to wear them, allow me to suggest you do so only in broad daylight in places where a lot of people regularly congregate and police are nearby.

If you're not planning to ever wear this footwear, will you store it in a climate-controlled setting? Will interested spectators be able to view them? If yes, how much will you charge for admission? Would you consider a sliding scale for admission?

Last question: How much will shoelaces for these bad boys set you back?

Sincerely (and bewildered),

Pat Barton (White New Balance, on sale right now for $75.00 at DSW, in case you were wondering)