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Monday, April 11, 2022

Self-Sabotage

We've all heard the conventional wisdom that criminals frequently return to the scene of their crimes. But aren't many of us who are not criminals guilty of a parallel type of self-sabotage? 

In my life, the closest parallel could be a long-standing propensity for often sabotaging my creative endeavors. Of late, each time I reflect on it, yet another way I've potentially undermined myself occurs to me. Most recently, I realized one of the best ways I could have steadily improved my craft as a composer or writer would have been to continually study the craft of the masters as routinely as I do now. What prevented me from doing so much more, much sooner? Easy - ego, arrogance, insecurity. A few of the optimum tools for effective self-sabotage.

I know there are many ways self-sabotage can destroy a life. I'm grateful to have avoided self-sabotage in my relationships, with my health, or my financial security. But pretending I've totally avoided it would be a lie. Even if the price I've paid has been small in the grand scheme of things, there's no question I have returned to the scene of the crime more than once. What part of your story do you see in mine?


4 comments:

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    1. T; Thanks for comment. What part of your story do you see in mine?

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  2. Pat; I hope this finds you well. A very thought provoking post. Although I am happy in the life I have, there are times I have wondered (still wonder) 'what if?' And that covers a number of possibilities. In fact, it would probably take more than my usual rambling comment to try to include them all. I see quite a bit of my story in what you've written. Suffice to say there are times when self sabotage - insecurity and fear come to mind as two prominent reasons - have resulted in my just deciding to play it safe. And although there are certainly less consequences these days, there are times when those feelings still exist. Thankfully less than it was.
    Be well,
    Bob

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    1. "Anonymous" Bob; I suspect many people - if they are 100% honest with themselves - can relate to the notion of self-sabotage aka "what if...?" And though I didn't list fear in this post - alongside my troubling trio of ego, arrogance, and insecurity - fear has also played a role in the self-sabotage I've perpetuated in the creative domain of my life. Thanks for your honest and vulnerable comment.

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