Ever catch yourself reflecting on survival? Specifically, given the endless number of ways people inflict pain on each other, how do some people cope with what they've endured?
Recently - soon after being exposed to another horror story - I began spiraling into a doom loop. To escape the cloud that engulfed me, I tried meditating, playing my guitar, surrendered to mindless TV. No luck. Even a nap didn't provide the needed respite; disturbing dreams interfered.
All of you know the kind of stories I'm referencing here. Tell me: If you'd endured and then survived a horrific ordeal like most of us have heard or read about, what do you suppose would follow? Would the pain twist you into something dark, ensuring the cycle would continue? Or would the damage of that pain instead push you to retreat from engaging with the world?
Perhaps you see yourself following a third path, one we've all seen frequently portrayed. These folks are shaped but not defined by their unspeakable pain. They learn, become better for the experience, and the portrayals of them are designed to inspire those of us who have never survived anything like they have as well as motivate those from similar circumstances to transcend their ordeals. Although I usually succumb to the inspirational aspect of these portrayals, I'm rarely convinced I would act so heroically.
And that part of my waking reverie about survivors left me with more questions. How many survivors have I encountered in my life? How sensitive was I as they tried to share their stories with me? What were my differing reactions to survivors from each of the three groups, i.e., the dark, the walking wounded, the thriving? What did my reactions to each of their stories say about me as a person?
Reminds me of the lyrics…”In times of trouble
ReplyDeleteMother Mary said to me
Let it be…”
Sometimes that’s all we can do.
Other times, we need to act.Finding equilibrium between paths is wisdom, faith, experience and compassion for ourselves and others.
Anonymous; Thanks for the pertinent and concise comment.
DeleteI haven’t experienced pain at the level you’re speaking of but based on how I have reacted to lesser traumas my response would be to retreat from engaging with the world while seeking (hoping?) to transcend the ordeal. I might eventually find help in the form of someone to talk to but I don’t do that easily. I often remind myself that we have no idea what pains people may be suffering and I try to keep that in mind when interacting. Good post, Pat.
ReplyDeleteJim; Nice to see a comment from you. Thanks for your honest answer and for the feedback on my post.
DeleteI agree with all of the above comments. Really great and thoughtful post. I too have not experienced the level of pain or trauma you describe. I too would like to think that I would use such an experience to transcend and do good but I honestly don't know. As you say, that is aspirational. It also reminds me to be compassionate and empathetic.
ReplyDeleteInes; As always, thanks for the comment and support. I love your use of the word aspirational!
DeleteHello Pat. Time for me to catch up on my commenting.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I cannot recall a personal survival, which I consider a positive in my life, I can't help but reflect on something I experienced as a child that left an indelible mark on my memory that I know, and after this many years I can say with great certainty, I will never forget. My parents, although they came from the same area in NY are of different backgrounds - in many ways. My fathers family is of the Jewish faith and I remember as a child, vividly, going to Passover Seders. Of the many I remember there is one that stands out. Although I don't remember how old I was at the time, I remember family from Europe joining us this one particular time. Although small in number and able to speak very little English they were kind, welcoming and very friendly. At one point during the seder I couldn't help but notice some markings on one of my cousins arms. Seeing markings like these was very strange to me as I had never seen anything like this before. And, even at what was a young age, I knew not to ask questions. My father explained this to me on our drive home. I'm sure by now you have figured out what these markings were and, to be honest, I have chills as I type this. These relatives were, and will always be to me, the ultimate survivors.
Be well,
Bob
Bob; You've made many comments here over the few years you've been a major supporter of my blog. This particular comment touched me deeply and with your permission, I plan to e-mail you the link to a post of mine published way before you begin reading my blog. When you read "Herman's Story", I'm certain you will see the connection.
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