Line Dancing

Am I the only one who finds it easier to see the line separating selflessness and selfishness by looking at the behavior of others vs. looking at myself? 

I'll start here. No one who has ever known me would describe me as selfless. I would never describe myself that way. I'm attached to my ego, I'm fond of my opinions, and I'm resistant - as often as not - to the idea of making my needs secondary to the needs of others. Neither a bromance with Dietrich Bonhoeffer nor achieving sainthood alongside Mother Theresa - time machine aside - goes along with the cards in my deck. 

Selfish? Here's where the line dancing gets tricky. I was raised Catholic, making selfishness roughly equal to mortal sin, i.e., hell and damnation. That scary and tenacious message created some serious cognitive dissonance when juxtaposed alongside normal adolescent impulses. Consequently, as a young adult/lapsed Catholic/thinking person, I rejected wholesale the selfish=sin bit, journeying toward hedonism, albeit half-heartedly. For the remainder of my life, especially after becoming a parent, I've moved away from craven selfishness, but as I indicated at the start, it's much easier for me to see the line when looking at others vs. looking at myself. That is, I think I can spot someone who appears to reflexively put themselves first - no matter the situation - but maybe that's just my recovering judgaholic getting the upper hand. 

I remain certain that selflessness and I are never destined to cross paths. I'm equally certain that the line separating selflessness and selfishness is one I'll be dancing on or near until I can dance no more.