A Fascinating Intersection

If we withhold something from the person with whom we are the most intimate, is that relationship necessarily compromised? Or, are we each allowed to hold onto secrets without fear of damage to intimacy?

Reflections on these questions - embodying a long search for the balance between trust and mystery - most often come to the fore when others describe their secrets and lies to me. Infrequently, I'll get wistful when hearing these stories. I wonder: Do therapists ever catch themselves relishing the hidden mysteries their patients reveal to them? What does your self-talk sound like when you're tantalized by a secret a good friend has kept from their partner?

Before anyone's imagination runs amok, this post is not a cryptic confession. In fact, I recently realized there is virtually nothing my partner of thirty eight years does not know about me. And that realization - likely catalyzed by a dishy, superficial, unnamed memoir - sent me down today's rabbit hole. I'm not soliciting confessions either - just your thoughts on the fascinating intersection of trust and mystery.

Beauty And Mystery

"Those who dwell among the beauties and mysteries of the earth are never alone or weary of life." Rachel Carson 

It's difficult to over-state how rejuvenated I feel after spending an extended period in nature. In addition to the feeling of renewal, some of my most profound moments of clarity have taken place while outdoors, especially in places of intense quiet.

Although not temperamentally suited to a Thoreau-like life of isolation, each time I commune with the earth it feels like it takes a bit longer re-acclimating. Do you detect a similar pattern in your re-entries? My next prolonged experience with nature can never come too soon.

Travel And Learning

What book comes to mind when you think about time you've spent away from home?

For me, it's easy to recall books I've read while travelling. Over forty years ago, on the road with my rock n' roll band, I finished "At Play In The Fields Of The Lord", a brilliant Peter Matthiessen novel seared into my memory. In the mid-90's, after reading "The Fourth Hand" while at a friend's house in Maine, I decided I was done with John Irving. On my last vacation, I plowed through Maggie O' Farrell's "The Vanishing Act Of Esme Lennox" in one sitting. Each book is clearly linked to the time away from home. Does this happen to you?

"My Life On The Road" - Gloria Steinem's 2015 memoir - is now forever connected to alligators in Florida's National Parks, vibrant art in the streets of Miami, a $19.95 pitcher of Margaritas my wife and I were unable to finish. Steinem's books invariably move and teach me. During my adult ed years, her 1993 book "Revolution From Within" was a beacon for me and my students. "My Life On The Road" is filled with hard-earned wisdom. My richest takeaway? The value of using the circle as an organizing principle, as many traditional cultures do. As someone who has rarely questioned the merit of hierarchy as an organizing principle, I'm grateful to Gloria Steinem for reinforcing an alternative - it's a powerful lesson she passed onto me from her lifetime of travel and learning.      

I'm Busy For The Rest Of My Life

I'm busy for the rest of my life.

From twenty feet away, the words themselves deeply resonated with me. But as I got up closer and saw that Peter Tunney had used pages from the dictionary as the building blocks for the inspirational collage highlighting those words, I was dumbstruck. Which contemporary visual artist most recently took your breath away?

petertunney.com

Walking around the gallery, I kept wishing my artist friends were by my side so that we could experience Tunney's magic simultaneously. Each of his pieces filled me with joy from afar and wonder up close. I can't recall the last time I was so moved by an art exhibit.

Visiting Tunney's website may or may not whet your appetite. But if you ever get a chance to see his work up close - his home base is NYC, specifically Tribeca - be sure to do so. Then, let's talk.

The Last And Most Deadly Sin

Although I do battle with anger and pride can also get the better of me, envy is the deadly sin that most often sorely tests me. Which of the unlucky seven challenges you more than the others?

The green monster usually appears when I'm in a creative slump. If not in a mindful state at those low points, envy can be my default reaction when exposed to great music or writing. Soon, a reinforcing loop begins. My envy of the talent of others leads to negative self-talk and from there it's a short journey to creative paralysis. It's easy to recognize how fruitless my envy is, but not simple to avoid it. There is so much amazing talent in the world.

As ignoble as it is, I also envy those people tortured by their envy of other people's money or possessions. I'd prefer that to my own version of this deadly sin.                    

http://reflectionsfromthebellcurve.blogspot.com/2015/12/more-than-halfway.html

http://reflectionsfromthebellcurve.blogspot.com/2016/01/words-that-can-haunt-me-part-13-pride.html

The Tao Of Ough

Without looking it up, what's your guess how to pronounce "slough"?

Let's use words starting with "t" as a starting point. Does the ough in slough sound like the ough in thorough, thought, through, tough, or trough?

This Carlinesque reflection was inspired when my wife and I came across and differently mispronounced this word unfamiliar to both of us. Crossword and scrabble geeks might scoff at our ignorance but only those from that nerdy group who can come up with a better pun than the title of this post are allowed to gloat and take a bough. Just the same, let's all be kind to people learning English, OK?

A Lingusitic Smorgasbord

There's so much to cherish about our National Parks. Aside from the traditional reasons, one additional thing that invariably juices me is the variety of languages I can hear in just one day. It's like being at the UN, outdoors.

The first people we met today were Swiss; I learned this asking where they were from after overhearing what sounded like German. Then during our first activity - a ranger-led hike through the Everglades - in just our group of about twenty people there were folks from China, Denmark & Germany as well as several US States. Later, on a short afternoon boat ride I heard some kind of Slavic language, French, Japanese & Spanish all being spoken.

Among my favorite memories visiting London the first time was when my wife and I sat in Hyde Park for a few hours and tried keeping track of how many different languages we thought we heard people speak as they passed by. In my experience, the National Parks offer a similar rich diversity. Even as someone who has spent a lot of time in multi-cultural NYC, the linguistic smorgasbord at the National Parks still dazzles me.

An Energizing Goal

After our current Florida adventure concludes, my wife and I will have visited fourteen of the US National Parks together. With Rocky Mountain on the schedule for later this year, at this rate, it's still possible we'll accomplish our goal of seeing all fifty seven. Will we both still be ambulatory when we reach the last one? Open question.

Realizing our ambitious mission will require purposeful planning. There are still six more National Parks in Alaska we haven't seen; a few of those are really remote. There are also two in Hawaii, one of the three States in the US neither of us has yet visited. Finally, giving new meaning to the expression "off the beaten track", there is a National Park located on American Samoa. If someone asked you to quickly locate that US territory on a map, how successful would you be?

But the National Parks are such a treasure; having this goal energizes both of us. What are your travel goals?