Because this month will end up having the fewest reflections from the bell curve - 15 - since August 2011, that earlier month's Sinatra-like retirement from blogging has been on my mind quite a bit. BTW, my cyberspace quiet this month - having been out of Internet range the first week - was less expensive than that earlier hiatus.
Each time I discuss the Mr. Hyde that surfaced publicly on August 15, 2011 - prompting my arrest and then a two week silence on the bell curve - I'm struck by how many people share similar experiences. Someone says or does something so outrageous you simply snap. Happened to you? I'd had my share of impulsive, ill-advised moments before that summer day over three years ago. But until then, I'd never really connected to the word "primal".
I've since paid more attention to things that trigger me and worked on devoting less energy to those triggers, all of which pale in comparison to the stupidity I reacted to that day. I do want to be smarter if ever faced with a similar situation. What I haven't figured out yet is what smarter would look like.
About Me
- Pat Barton
- My most recent single release - "My True North" - is now available on Bandcamp. Open my profile and click on "audio clip".
There is more guilt in this topic than I (and most people) would care to admit. For starters, I eventually learned to understand that waiting until reaching the boiling point and then going off on the kids when they were arguing with each other as teens, created an overreaction to most any situation. Better to interject sooner and concentrate on not getting worked up. Though that's not always easy. Another lesson I learned more than once: when someone is talking through a concert, using the f word when initially confronting them is not the best way to gain their silence. Most recently I've been working at not losing my cool with customer support telephone people. And, it works, in a way. The problem is still not likely to get fixed, but everybody (including, especially, me) feels better when it doesn't devolve into a tirade. Just yesterday - and I'm not kidding here - the lady I was speaking with from Express Scripts (a company from hell, with whom I am locked in a constant struggle) said "thank you for treating me so respectfully" at the end of the call. Nothing was resolved, as usual, but I felt gloriously harmonious! Seriously. I think I'm onto something. Kumbaya
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