https://reflectionsfromthebellcurve.blogspot.com/2015/11/counting-before-publishing.html
Although it's possible I was premature congratulating myself in the above post from three years ago today, many of the lessons I've learned over the last several years about being more judicious with my words are clearly linked to the discipline of regularly writing this blog. In some cases, the impact on my personal interactions has been dramatic. What are your strategies for making your words less loaded?
The other benefit of repeatedly whispering to myself - "Be careful, Pat"- has been how much more attuned I am when others appear to be using words that inflame rather than inform. It's easy to get caught in an escalating battle with people of differing views when distancing adjectives get casually tossed around. In my experience, as soon as I begin using more neutral language, the heat in most conversations diminishes. Your experience?
But, benefits are often accompanied by costs, right? So far I've detected two costs associated with the benefits I derive from being more careful in writing and in person. The first has been an occasional sense that I'm walking away from too many battles with intolerant people. The second cost is feeling like I'm sometimes being a bit too meek expressing opinions about things that matter to me. A partial list of those things: persistent racism, dog whistling by public figures who can wield significant influence with their coded messages, climate change denial. What costs have you encountered that go hand-in-hand with being more circumspect with your words?
About Me
- Pat Barton
- My most recent single release - "My True North" - is now available on Bandcamp. Open my profile and click on "audio clip".
I am not sure if I share your "costs" involved in being more circumspect. Perhaps I haven't been as circumspect? Not sure. Will pay more attention. I know recently I was not at all circumspect during a dinner conversation where my guests stated they thought the Me Too movement had gone too far. The reason they gave was that women were accusing some men of things they hadn't done and that men now fear any kind of affectionate gestures toward women. These are very liberal friends and I was appalled. I wasn't at all circumspect about my position and even invoked some of the "data" from Missoula and other sources of information. We never got to any kind of agreement on this topic. The question is - if I had been more circumspect would that have been better? I don't think so. (This falls in the category of cost #2.) Cost #1, doing battle with intolerant people - does that ever work? My experience is that doing battle with intolerant people just leads to more shouting. Look at what is happening all over this country right now. I wish I had a good solution of how to deal with intolerant people. If someone out there does, please share.
ReplyDeleteInes; Thanks for the detailed response to this post. It's very difficult for me to draw a line between where walking away from intolerance is prudent vs. cowardly. But I am sure I've paid costs for the voice in my head that whispers "be careful", notwithstanding the benefit I've derived by being more careful. Tough balancing act, right?
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