Of the milestones celebrated here, today's is often the one tinged with the most ambivalence. Each year as March 14 approaches, I search for balance before publishing this post.
On one hand, I'm proud of my persistence - tomorrow marks the beginning of my eighth consecutive year of consistent blogging. On the other hand, unrealized expectations about having a robust online conversation continue to frustrate me.
But, I'm grateful for every comment - online or off, the surprise of reaching a new reader, a human connection, albeit virtual. Still, as Saul Bellow's Henderson perpetually moaned - "I want".
I have difficulty imagining my life without blogging. Until the occasional peek at my view numbers discourages me. I bounce back because creating makes me feel plugged in. Until my inability to express myself in a fresh way stops me cold. It's the journey, not the destination, right? That cliché works better on days when I don't need some instant gratification and unfortunately, I have those days less frequently than the more evolved among us.
In any case, I'll see you next March 14. Unless I don't.