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Thursday, May 21, 2020

Of George But Not By George

Though my three earlier attempts to elicit Carlinisms from readers have yielded meager results, I remain convinced many of us on the bell curve are as frequently mystified as the late great George Carlin was by life's insignificant mysteries. For example: When more affluent people in China order takeout, is American cuisine their go-to choice?

Being privileged enough to be able to order takeout during this health crisis led my addled brain from the food mystery above - a quasi-Carlinism - to some reflections with a bad luck whiff. To wit:
* If you walk backwards under a ladder does your bad luck get reversed?
* Does your bad luck take a comical turn if you break a funhouse mirror?
* If a really big black cat (e.g. a panther) crosses your path, does your bad luck get exponentially worse?
* What are the differing consequences for your luck if no salt is available or all the wood around you is particle board?

Ready to jump in? I'm certain at least a few of the more deranged among you have harbored bizarre wonderings to rival mine. Come on, we can all use a laugh right now. Last question: In Carlinstan is it still called shoplifting if you steal something from a garage sale or roadside stand? How about from a kiosk in a mall or a farmer's market?




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