https://reflectionsfromthebellcurve.blogspot.com/2015/08/intersecting-roads.html
Soon after reading a NY Times excerpt from The Road To Character, I raced to the library and picked up David Brooks's 2015 book, then published the post above. His central conceit - how we as a culture have put "resume virtues" above "eulogy virtues" - rang true to me from the moment I read the Times excerpt. The book then skillfully reinforced the conceit.
Unfortunately, as often happens, most of the lessons imparted by Brooks in his book faded quickly from my mind. But as the Buddhist expression wisely extols - "When a student is ready, a teacher appears." The student/blogger finally got ready, almost seven years later.
In this case, the student let his arrogance - once again - trump both his manners and his common sense in a conversation with a good friend. Soon after my unkind words were directed at my friend, some of the wisdom from The Road To Character rushed back to me during a walking meditation.
I apologized to my friend for my arrogance. What had been revealed to me during that meditation - thanks to teacher David Brooks - is how much I yearn to be remembered for my kindness, my grace. During my remaining days, if I can remember to let go of my need to be "right" - even a little bit - perhaps the words kind or gracious will make it into my eulogy.
Work to do. Begin, again.
Kind is one of the first words I'd use to describe you.
ReplyDeleteI'm pleased that someone who knows me - even if that someone is "anonymous" - would describe me as kind. Thanks for the comment and the support.
DeleteHello Pat,
ReplyDeleteAlthough I have not read Mr. Brooks book, it looks like I'll be adding it to my list.
I have found, over the years, that the Buddhist expression you quoted "When a student is ready, a teacher appears," has entered my life on a number of occasions. And for each time that it has I remain thankful. As far as how you 'yearn to be remembered', in my opinion, kindness and grace would just be the beginning. Your enthusiasm and willingness to share are what initially stood out to me when we first met. And I am glad to be able to call you my friend. As far as needing to be right ... Well, I'm sure there are many that share this feeling. My kids and wife call it being stubborn. And, I'm too stubborn to admit that they're correct ... But, as you have so aptly said - Work to do.
Be well,
Bob
"Anonymous" Bob; Thanks for the comment (and three in one day, again!) Glad to hear I piqued your interest in The Road to Character - worth your time, without a doubt. Thanks even more for your generous comments vis a vis kindness and grace, in addition to noting - not for the first time here - my "...enthusiasm and willingness to share..." I'm glad to count you as a friend as well, a friend who has become one of the biggest supporters of my blog.
Delete