An unwritten but nearly inviolable rule most parents follow is to acknowledge - in some fashion - every birthday of their children. Twentieth century norms included cards or phone calls. Today, an e-mail or text might replace those minimal forms of acknowledgment. Making plans to be together on a birthday or giving a thoughtful gift takes the acknowledgment up a level.
Failing to acknowledge the significance of January 19 in my life is unimaginable. Is this because I have just one child? Possibly. It's become a cliche to remark how much life changes when a person becomes a parent. And my life did change that day. But something more significant happened. I changed. On or near the day my daughter was born I began closely examining parts of the old me that needed to be discarded in my new role guiding a life as it evolved. The stakes were too high for me to ignore those pieces of me that weren't ready for the challenge ahead.
As the two of us talked on a long hike today, I tried recalling the me of thirty-four years ago. I had difficulty doing so. I suspect that is because the me that began forming soon after January 19, 1989 is someone I like better than the old version.
Grateful to know this version of Pat :)
ReplyDelete"Anonymous"; Thanks for that, whoever you are.
DeleteGood afternoon, Pat. The joys of parenthood. Saying, as you indicated above, that my life changed immediately doesn't quite cover the depth of this change. From both the birth of my first child, my daughter, to the birth of my son, life has certainly never been the same, in so many ways, to numerous to number. And of course there is always the new sense of responsibilities and what one can and cannot do any longer. And that's fine. I would think that most people discuss these things before planning to have family. And I wouldn't trade any of it for the world. However, one of the biggest, and most notable, changes has been my sleep, or lack thereof. And I realize that in the overall scope of what your post is about commenting on my sleep patterns may not rise to the level of every other change, but .. here it goes. When I was younger, before children, even before marriage, I would be able to sleep anywhere, in any position, on just about any surface. And quite soundly at that. My parents used to joke that the house could blow up and I would not stir from my sleep. I once was told that, at a party, I fell down a flight of stairs and was asleep before I hit the bottom. I never doubted that tale. However, and back to the point of my comment and your post, once my daughter was born, sleep has never been the same. I do sleep, of course, but it's very interrupted sleep. My daughter is now 36 and my son about to turn 33 in a few months, and my sleep has never returned to what it was before them. And at this point in my life, I'm sure it never will. And I would never change any of it. I'm sure most parents would agree.
ReplyDeleteBe well,
Bob
Bob; Thanks for sharing more of your story with me. Your final two sentences nail the essence of the matter.
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