Like many long-term partnerships, the things that interest and engage my wife and me differ as often as they merge. We both love music, literature, and travel. She loves spending leisure time in her garden; I'm more likely to be writing or practicing my guitar. Which activities do both you & your partner love? When the two of you are in parallel play, what might you be doing while your partner is otherwise engaged?
But all of our parallel play differences, e.g., gardening vs. writing, pale when compared to one area where my wife and I might as well be total strangers = the royal family. She is fascinated; I am disinterested. She enjoys the pageantry; I disdain it. When we traveled to London together, Buckingham Palace was high on her list; I could have easily walked by without blinking an eye, not unlike the way I felt the first time I drove through Nevada, bypassing Las Vegas. Any analogues in your long-term partnership, i.e., one in which fascination vs. disinterest in an area or subject puts you and your partner light years away?
Fortunately, this particular disconnect has caused no long-lasting ill effects in our partnership. There is an occasional minor disagreement over a movie to watch that features a past or present royal, although my indiscriminate movie jones usually prevents this from being too big an issue. I'm also disinclined to read books about any royal, even when my wife has enjoyed one - she almost always does, BTW - and then wants to discuss the book with me. But we weather these squalls pretty well. And after forty-five + years, she knows better than trying to persuade me to sit through a mini-series like The Crown, no matter how much she loves it. That's a moat too far.
Here’s to diversity.I’ve been single longer than married and the sparring about whether the royals are worthy of my attention is an internal dialogue.
ReplyDeleteHarry captured my heart since he lost his mom. So that’s my excuse for spending too much time reading about and following the royals. Honestly, it’s rooted in a princess fascination that probably began with the story of Cinderella. Oh, those tiaras, jewels, and gowns are irresistible to gaze upon. However, royal entitlement sickens me. The colonization of so many countries and the resulting loss of cultures and languages appalls me.
I read The Spare and listened to Harry try to work through issues associated with his personal trauma. At the base of his tale was an individual’s personal worth - heir vs spare. It also mirrored royal vs commoner and England vs Her colonies. Contemplating the contrasts, I get why you would have zero interest in Royalty, My higher self wants that too, but the royal trappings and dramas through history make for a fascinating study of our world and the use of power and riches.
Glad you are able to find common ground in your marriage. I have a trickier road to traverse, “to be or not to be.” “To be” (watching royalty) wins a lot even with disdain for the topic.
Anonymous; Thanks for the comprehensive comment. Your nuanced view of this topic made me scrutinize my disdain a bit. Thanks for that as well.
DeleteHello,Pat. Ahh, the Royals. I have to admit to have been fascinated with them for some time. Most of it comes from being very interested in the Royal Family from the very early days - The older kings and families going back to the Six Wives (Anne Boleyn, Catherine of Agaron, Jane Seymour, Anne of Cleaves, Catherine Howard and Catherine Parr) and before. That history has always been of interest to me and has carried froward to today's 'Royals'. Although admittedly they are not as interesting.
ReplyDeleteAs for what I share with my spouse - similar taste in (some) films, concerts (although our musical tastes do differ sometimes), spending time with family and friends.
Be well,
Bob
Hey Bob ( the trifecta); If you did it from memory, I'm impressed you named all six wives. Thanks for sharing what you and your spouse have in common as well.
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