Though it's less than ennobling, I reluctantly admit that fantasies about achieving some degree of notoriety have crossed my mind from time to time. Fortunately, the delusions pass quickly. And when a tsunami of coverage descends on some celebrity - Brangelina, anyone? - I'm belatedly grateful for my anonymity.
Living in the public eye has to be an epic nightmare. Mistakes in judgment or missteps in a relationship are photographed and endlessly scrutinized. Imagine having to apologize for something stupid you did as a young adult well into your seventies. How many of us on the bell curve don't have at least one Hanoi Jane moment from our impetuous early years? Sure, she screwed up but who hasn't?
I know it goes with the territory. I also suspect most people don't have a lot of sympathy for the rich and famous, nutso paparazzi notwithstanding. I do wonder how many of us can agree to let these folks eat in peace in a public place.
Wednesday, October 5, 2016
Tuesday, October 4, 2016
I Hope There's No Quota
epiphany: an experience of sudden or striking realization (Wikipedia).
The word epiphany was originally connected to religion. My 1984 Random House dictionary has the word listed only as a proper noun, defined as "an appearance or manifestation, esp. of a deity". But in my view, the word is best utilized sparingly either way, sharing sacred linguistic ground with a word like genius. At the same time, I hope there's no such thing as an epiphany quota.
What was your most recent epiphany? Mine seem to be linked to books, often novels. So whenever several novels in a row pass without some insight jarring me, I feel under-nourished intellectually. During my most recent stretch like that, I re-visited James Joyce, knowing the ending to the stories in "Dubliners" to be rich in wisdom.
Has any music ever led you to an epiphany? A piece of visual art? A film? Or, was your last epiphany the result of an interaction with someone? I'm curious about the source - if you're able to pinpoint it - as well as what you suddenly realized.
The word epiphany was originally connected to religion. My 1984 Random House dictionary has the word listed only as a proper noun, defined as "an appearance or manifestation, esp. of a deity". But in my view, the word is best utilized sparingly either way, sharing sacred linguistic ground with a word like genius. At the same time, I hope there's no such thing as an epiphany quota.
What was your most recent epiphany? Mine seem to be linked to books, often novels. So whenever several novels in a row pass without some insight jarring me, I feel under-nourished intellectually. During my most recent stretch like that, I re-visited James Joyce, knowing the ending to the stories in "Dubliners" to be rich in wisdom.
Has any music ever led you to an epiphany? A piece of visual art? A film? Or, was your last epiphany the result of an interaction with someone? I'm curious about the source - if you're able to pinpoint it - as well as what you suddenly realized.
Monday, October 3, 2016
Put Me In Coach
If people are willing to pay a personal trainer to help them stay in shape, surely there are folks who would spend money for someone that could help them stay intellectually limber, right?
The over-crowded field of personal coaches no doubt has specialists like this. If you were shopping for a coach of this type, what would you look for? Aside from the obvious, like educational credentials, good references, and samples of writing, I'd want someone who spoke more than one language. I'd also be looking for a person with high emotional intelligence.
And since I'd be paying, I'd make sure my quirky needs were met. Any coach I'm considering would have to provide me with their Mt. Rushmore of four favorite novels, non-fiction titles, feature films, documentaries, jazz artists, and recordings. Although I wouldn't be looking for a one-to-one match with my own choices, if all the other stuff were copacetic, someone with such impeccable taste would have a real good shot at sealing the deal.
The over-crowded field of personal coaches no doubt has specialists like this. If you were shopping for a coach of this type, what would you look for? Aside from the obvious, like educational credentials, good references, and samples of writing, I'd want someone who spoke more than one language. I'd also be looking for a person with high emotional intelligence.
And since I'd be paying, I'd make sure my quirky needs were met. Any coach I'm considering would have to provide me with their Mt. Rushmore of four favorite novels, non-fiction titles, feature films, documentaries, jazz artists, and recordings. Although I wouldn't be looking for a one-to-one match with my own choices, if all the other stuff were copacetic, someone with such impeccable taste would have a real good shot at sealing the deal.
Saturday, October 1, 2016
Work To Do
How often do we learn how to improve by recognizing some of our own bad habits or behaviors in others?
The place I'm most likely to learn this lesson is when I closely observe my men friends interacting with their wives or partners. Whenever one of them interrupts, finishes a sentence or story, or steals a punchline, I'm reminded how rude it is, i.e. how rude I can sometimes be. And that's not the worst behavior I've observed in others that chastens me.
I think of myself as a good listener. When my wife and I are alone, I'm much less inclined to engage in some of the poor listening or disrespectful behaviors I find obnoxious in others. But clearly I've still got some work to do. I don't relish the idea of becoming an example to others of what not to do.
The place I'm most likely to learn this lesson is when I closely observe my men friends interacting with their wives or partners. Whenever one of them interrupts, finishes a sentence or story, or steals a punchline, I'm reminded how rude it is, i.e. how rude I can sometimes be. And that's not the worst behavior I've observed in others that chastens me.
I think of myself as a good listener. When my wife and I are alone, I'm much less inclined to engage in some of the poor listening or disrespectful behaviors I find obnoxious in others. But clearly I've still got some work to do. I don't relish the idea of becoming an example to others of what not to do.
Friday, September 30, 2016
If You're Ready
"Yes. You should read it. But maybe start at the end. Then circle back."
Had I initially done what that underlined sentence on the final page of "I'm Thinking Of Ending Things" suggested, it's doubtful I would have "... circled back ..."
But, because I'd started at the beginning of this dark and disturbing book and never got off my chair until 210 pages whizzed by, "circle back" I did. I couldn't help myself. I had to understand how this author did what he did. But this is not a book recommendation: Iain Reid's 2016 debut novel is clearly not for every taste.
"People talk about the ability to endure ... But you can only do that if you're not alone. That's always the infrastructure life's built on."
Yes. You should read it. If you're ready.
Had I initially done what that underlined sentence on the final page of "I'm Thinking Of Ending Things" suggested, it's doubtful I would have "... circled back ..."
But, because I'd started at the beginning of this dark and disturbing book and never got off my chair until 210 pages whizzed by, "circle back" I did. I couldn't help myself. I had to understand how this author did what he did. But this is not a book recommendation: Iain Reid's 2016 debut novel is clearly not for every taste.
"People talk about the ability to endure ... But you can only do that if you're not alone. That's always the infrastructure life's built on."
Yes. You should read it. If you're ready.
Wednesday, September 28, 2016
Journey To The Past
Over the past five and one half years and almost 1400 posts, I've worked assiduously to avoid repeating myself here. The robust search feature on Blogger has been a huge help.
Unfortunately, using that search feature sometimes leads to what some artists might consider a solipsistic downside, i.e. I occasionally re-read my older stuff. How many times have you heard famous musicians say they never listen to their own recordings or famous film or TV actors say they never watch old performances? Aside from the use of the absolute "never" - itself a red flag - what I frequently wonder hearing statements like this is how these artists mark their growth if they don't occasionally contrast older work to more recent. And more pertinent to my thrust here: How do these folks ensure they're not repeating themselves without an infrequent glance backwards? If you're a recorded musician, a writer or visual artist of any kind, an actor who has been captured on film, do you never re-visit your older work?
I try not to dwell in the past, either with my writing or otherwise. On the other hand, I find significant wisdom in William Faulkner's words - "The past is not dead; in fact, it's not even past."
Unfortunately, using that search feature sometimes leads to what some artists might consider a solipsistic downside, i.e. I occasionally re-read my older stuff. How many times have you heard famous musicians say they never listen to their own recordings or famous film or TV actors say they never watch old performances? Aside from the use of the absolute "never" - itself a red flag - what I frequently wonder hearing statements like this is how these artists mark their growth if they don't occasionally contrast older work to more recent. And more pertinent to my thrust here: How do these folks ensure they're not repeating themselves without an infrequent glance backwards? If you're a recorded musician, a writer or visual artist of any kind, an actor who has been captured on film, do you never re-visit your older work?
I try not to dwell in the past, either with my writing or otherwise. On the other hand, I find significant wisdom in William Faulkner's words - "The past is not dead; in fact, it's not even past."
Tuesday, September 27, 2016
A Glass More Than Half Full
I'm sure you'll be shocked to learn that from the day she was born, my daughter has been one of my favorite topics of conversation.
As her young adult years pass, what I occasionally find myself fantasizing - at least when conversing with other parents - is being allowed a "do-over". To be clear: I'm certain how well I did as a Father. After all, unlike many people I've encountered, I myself had excellent parents. I can't recall a single instance when I ever felt unloved or uncared for. I'm sure my daughter feels the same way.
But just as no marriage is perfect, no parent does a perfect job raising their children. I have long found solace in a metaphor Mitch Albom used in "The Five People You Meet In Heaven", which I read on its 2003 release; the timing could not have been better - my daughter was thirteen.
In "The Five People ..." Albom analogizes the inescapable damage people inflict on their children to a pane of glass. As parents we routinely either fog, break, or shatter that glass. Without exception, when I describe to someone my sincere belief that any harm I've done to my daughter has been of the fogging variety - the kind able to be addressed via gently wiping the glass - I become very emotional. And many people with whom I share this metaphor - parent or not - are touched in a similar fashion. More than a few times, others have shared powerful and revealing family of origin stories with me - for better or worse - soon after we discuss Albom's wisdom.
I've long reflected on the source of my emotional content and the tendency I and others have to be so vulnerable when discussing these things. After my most recent conversation citing Albom's metaphor, I landed on two insights. First, his analogy assists me to forgive myself for the minor, if inevitable, harm I've inflicted. Second, I'm grateful beyond measure for emerging into my young adult life with fogged - instead of broken or shattered - glass. What has been the source of your richest learning about being parented or being a parent?
As her young adult years pass, what I occasionally find myself fantasizing - at least when conversing with other parents - is being allowed a "do-over". To be clear: I'm certain how well I did as a Father. After all, unlike many people I've encountered, I myself had excellent parents. I can't recall a single instance when I ever felt unloved or uncared for. I'm sure my daughter feels the same way.
But just as no marriage is perfect, no parent does a perfect job raising their children. I have long found solace in a metaphor Mitch Albom used in "The Five People You Meet In Heaven", which I read on its 2003 release; the timing could not have been better - my daughter was thirteen.
In "The Five People ..." Albom analogizes the inescapable damage people inflict on their children to a pane of glass. As parents we routinely either fog, break, or shatter that glass. Without exception, when I describe to someone my sincere belief that any harm I've done to my daughter has been of the fogging variety - the kind able to be addressed via gently wiping the glass - I become very emotional. And many people with whom I share this metaphor - parent or not - are touched in a similar fashion. More than a few times, others have shared powerful and revealing family of origin stories with me - for better or worse - soon after we discuss Albom's wisdom.
I've long reflected on the source of my emotional content and the tendency I and others have to be so vulnerable when discussing these things. After my most recent conversation citing Albom's metaphor, I landed on two insights. First, his analogy assists me to forgive myself for the minor, if inevitable, harm I've inflicted. Second, I'm grateful beyond measure for emerging into my young adult life with fogged - instead of broken or shattered - glass. What has been the source of your richest learning about being parented or being a parent?
Monday, September 26, 2016
A Binge Is A Binge Is A Binge
What is your favorite binge activity?
Although the word binge first gained wide traction when it began being associated with eating disorders, more recently it has become connected to watching an entire television series in one sitting. I suspect most of us occasionally binge on something.
If you want to disable me for hours, just put a book listing books, movies, or recordings in front of me or direct me to a website that does something similar. It doesn't have to be a good book or a reliable website either. My usual snobbishness about reading quality literature and using vetted websites gets tossed when faced with useless lists like these. And attempts at conversing with me are futile - a bingeing I go.
Not long ago, a good friend told me he needed to binge on my blog to catch up on the posts he'd missed; bless his heart. I couldn't bring myself to ask how many he'd let slip by.
Although the word binge first gained wide traction when it began being associated with eating disorders, more recently it has become connected to watching an entire television series in one sitting. I suspect most of us occasionally binge on something.
If you want to disable me for hours, just put a book listing books, movies, or recordings in front of me or direct me to a website that does something similar. It doesn't have to be a good book or a reliable website either. My usual snobbishness about reading quality literature and using vetted websites gets tossed when faced with useless lists like these. And attempts at conversing with me are futile - a bingeing I go.
Not long ago, a good friend told me he needed to binge on my blog to catch up on the posts he'd missed; bless his heart. I couldn't bring myself to ask how many he'd let slip by.
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