Meds And Confessions

Knowing my propensities, eight years ago a good friend gave me a mini-journal called "One Line A Day: A Five Year Memory Book" as a gift. On the spot, I decided this handy little tool could serve several purposes aside from it's intended use, i.e. jotting down a single memory for each day. So, in addition to that memory, I began recording the title of my blog posts - my blog was about a month old at the time -  and I also began giving myself a daily grade for both productivity and attitude. To help ensure you're not tempted to call a professional and suggest my meds need adjusting, I'll refrain from sharing my grading rubric at this time. But if, by some stretch, I have any company re this wackiness, now might be a good time to step into the bell curve confessional. Just saying.    

Meds and confessions aside, now that I'm three years and two months into my second "One Line A Day" (regular readers will not be surprised to learn that as 2015 ended and that first mini-journal was full, I immediately purchased a replacement), today's reflection relates to some clear, if modest, benefits I've detected that are connected to this "new" practice:

* It's been cool to vicariously re-live some recent life experiences via reading the memory piece of these entries. I'm reasonably sure many of these memories would have slipped away a bit without this tool. In particular, the time-way-from-home entries have been especially rich.

* Each tweak to the afore-mentioned grading rubric (Don't alert the doctor but I'm now on iteration #4), has me upping my game a little.

* Having those blog post titles handy has helped minimize the need for as much online searching.

Anyone else out there using "One Line A Day" - or something like it - for recording memories? What benefits have you detected doing so?

A Walk On The Beach

empathy: intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another person.

On good days, I envision a world in which every one of us has boundless empathy. We stop judging, blaming, or trying to "fix" people. We let go of the endless grudges of history and the differences in how we worship.

On in-between days, I work on my own empathy. I try identifying or vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of others. I try to remember that we're all on a journey.

On bad days, the empathy deficit in modern life can overwhelm me. A walk on the beach helps.

Thanks For The Help In Getting Out The Funk

I don't believe it's a coincidence that a lifelong tendency to indulge myself in prolonged funks largely dissipated after I began publishing this blog almost eight years ago.

I'm not claiming to have had no bad days since March 2011. But aside from an understandable dip after my arrest for simple assault in August 2011 - when visions of being sued ran rampant in my brain for a few weeks - my low periods haven't lasted as long, my highs have lasted longer, and the in-between times have not felt as onerous as they did before I began blogging. What practice or discipline that you've integrated into your life has had a similar impact on your mental health?

I'm especially grateful to folks who've supported my blog, no matter the form that support has taken. I'm often struck by the timing of public comments - either here or on Facebook - and offline e-mails or conversations that reference something I've written of here. Comments, e-mails, and conversations like that sustain me at critical moments and likely contribute to my enhanced well being. Thanks for that.      

The Temporary Moratorium

https://reflectionsfromthebellcurve.blogspot.com/2018/11/goal-for-year-69.html

In the post above, I declared I'd only read authors new to me from my last birthday until my next. If you're a reader, I'm curious to know if you've ever tried to do something like this for any period of time. What did you observe during your temporary moratorium on authors familiar to you?

* When browsing in the library - a frequent pastime of mine (NERD!) - I have to remain mindful of my pledge. Just over the ensuing few months since making that pledge, more than one library drive-by has gotten me all the way to checkout before realizing I'd grabbed a title by a favorite author.

* I'm really glad my pledge included an exception for book club selections. That allowed me to greedily devour "World's Fair" (1985) by EL Doctorow and also to re-read the astonishing "Yellow Birds" (2012) by Kevin Powers, arguably the best novel ever written about the Iraqi fiasco.

* It's not hard to find authors new to me. But, so far at least, it also has not been easy to find books by authors new to me that blow me away enough that I even want to recommend them here. And since I long ago decided not to publicly bash any author on this blog, my post output featuring authors new to me has been limited since November 23. Oh well. Got someone you think maybe I haven't tried and a book by that same author you want to recommend? Bring it on.

In the meanwhile, tell me and others what your experience was like trying only new authors for a time.

Select Peak Musical Moments

Few things in life give me as much joy as accompanying my daughter when she sings. I'm guessing any parent who is a musician and has had this experience shares my unbridled enthusiasm. And though most of my peak musical moments with my daughter have been in this context, I'd love to hear from any parent, musician or not, about peak musical moments with your children.

* Fourth grade school talent show: When my daughter nailed the high note at the end of the chorus in the LeAnn Rimes song "How Do I Live?", and the auditorium erupted with applause, Dad had to look down at his guitar to hide his tears of pride.

* Performing Arts High School recital: Her rendition of  Harold Arlen's ''Over The Rainbow" - again accompanied by her emotional old fart Dad - was simply spectacular.

* Just a few days ago, we were rehearsing the song she'll be singing ("Can't Help Falling In Love") at her cousin's wedding in South Carolina this weekend - a nice Ingrid Michaelson arrangement. Of the other stuff we then fooled with, the peak moment in that session arrived as she caressed "I'll Be Seeing You". My wife was so moved she asked "Who wrote that song?" Answer: Sammy Fain.

Join me in celebrating the way music has enhanced your life with your children.

Over & Over & Over, Again

Considering how many people outside of Punxsutawney ever pay attention, does it strike anyone else as odd that of all the movies ever made about holidays few have come close to being as good as "Groundhog Day?"  What would be your nomination for a holiday film that is the equal of Harold Ramis' goofy 1993 masterpiece?

Although I'm not a big Bill Murray fan, "Groundhog Day" is on the short list of films I've watched more than once. Of the several priceless bits in the movie, my favorite is probably Sonny & Cher warbling "I Got You Babe" on the clock radio that awakens Murray's character as he endlessly repeats February 2nd - brilliant song choice. What alternative tune would you pick as a way to aurally depict a nightmare you can't escape? My top nomination would be one of those treacly ballads Michael Bolton screamed during his brief but painful popularity, closely followed by anything from the repertoire of I-get-paid-by-the-note Kenny G.

Musical snarkiness aside, which bit from this modern-day cinema classic plays over and over and over in your mind? And, if you were able to repeat a single day from your life which one would you choose?

Ten Months To Go (Not That I'm Counting)

Given my propensity for navel gazing, I'm a little surprised it took an invitation to a party to remind me how many people I know will be reaching their 70th birthday sometime in 2019.

I suspect many of those people will claim indifference about their impending move into an eighth decade. The enlightened will extol the wisdom their years have given them, speak of their gratitude, describe their inner peace.

And the rest of us? For me, it will depend on the day. Today, I'm glad to have goals that keep me engaged, looking forward to my first trip to Greece this summer, pleased my passions still give me joy. Tomorrow? I don't know. But indifference or enlightenment both seem unlikely. Meanwhile, owning my ambivalence publicly about this looming milestone might help me inoculate myself as birthday #70 nears. Stay tuned.

Triple Threat

For the past few years, Bryan Stevenson has been a commanding presence in my life. I first learned of his organization - the Equal Justice Initiative - via my work with the former Deputy Attorney General of the NJ Office of Bias Crime. Not long after, I was taken with Stevenson's insights in "13th", Ava DuVernay's startling 2016 documentary. And the 60 Minutes interview Oprah Winfrey did with Stevenson to discuss his vision - a lynching memorial near Montgomery, Alabama - was unforgettable.

I was not surprised when "Just Mercy: A Story Of Justice And Redemption" moved me emotionally. But the stirring stories Stevenson relates in his 2014 debut are supported by sturdy prose, bracing honesty, and a strong narrative sense. Reading this excellent book reminded me how I felt the first time I heard George Benson sing. How cosmically unfair to give a singing voice that fine to such a prodigiously talented guitarist.

Stevenson is a gifted lawyer, an influential social architect, and a talented author. Damn.