Mr Id's Post Party Depression

Call Mr. Id unrealistic but when attending a party with more than 25 people, he expects to have at least one stimulating conversation, especially after staying several hours. How does Mr. Id define stimulating? At minimum...

* A reasonable amount of give and take.

* Other conversants demonstrating some interest in Mr. Id's views or, at least pretending to, especially after Mr. Id has asked numerous questions aimed at eliciting theirs.

* Minimal eye contact or, at least a temporary cessation of staring at the TV.

Mr. Id has additional obnoxious criterion. But within recent memory, Mr. Id attended a party where even the baseline minimum noted was consistently out of reach. Revealing more would be indiscreet. Mr. Id can be a crank but does not wish to be indiscreet. Besides, he likes parties.

The Literary Time Machine

Aside from a selfish and illogical desire to live forever, here's an additional delusional reason I want to be alive 100 years from now: To facilitate discussions circa 2115 about literature of the late 20th and early 21st century. I'm dying to know what discerning readers of the early 22nd century make of the novels from our era that are still being read.

After stopping full time work, I set several guidelines for my reading life. Among those was returning to the established literary canon to read something by any author I hadn't yet sampled. So far, this is not going so well. Could be my picks; could be timing; could be I'm hopelessly stuck in my own time. But whatever it is, often while reading something from the 19th or early 20th century, I'm a bit flummoxed. Just two days ago, I found myself saying aloud "Answer the question!!" to yet another character giving a maddeningly indirect answer to a very straightforward question posed by a different character. In that moment of reading frustration I began wondering about those 2115 readers. How will they perceive the speaking and writing rhythms of our time? I want to hear those people discuss the dialogue and characters of Toni Morrison, Philip Roth, Anne Tyler. That is, if those three current giants make it to the canon.

As always, my hope is some of you will shed your light on this subject. I once had a work colleague, an English Lit major, who was horrified when her college professor first extolled and then assigned John Updike's short story "A&P". After completing the assignment, hating the story, and forsaking any future with Updike, she was anxious to get back to Jane Austen, the Bronte sisters, Henry James, etc. My trip in the literary time machine? The exact opposite. My recent visit to Victorian England in the late 19th century had me aching for late 20th century noise, like ... John Updike. And though I'm not giving up on the canon, now  those 2115 readers are in my head.

My Grade (So Far): Amiability

amiability: the state of having a friendly or willing disposition. 

Of the 17 attributes covered in this series to date, this is among the most difficult for me to nail down and settle on a grade. So far anyway, my amiability has often been driven by my moods. And managing my moods is a perpetual struggle. How familiar is my struggle to you?

Because I've rarely had difficulty being amiable with children, a new technique I've been experimenting with is to occasionally pretend people I'm interacting with are eight years old. Not by acting condescendingly or trying to dumb down conversation, just approaching some interactions with adults using the open posture I bring to children. The technique has given me a boost in amiability and also helped rein in the judgaholic a bit.

Still, those moods of mine get the better of me. Watching me interact with someone recently, my usually amiable wife said "What was up with you back there?" Replaying the scene she was referring to in my head, I realized I'd forgotten to use my new technique. The result? Another "F" for amiability that day. With that lapse fresh on my mind and my new technique still a long way from being ingrained, guess today I'll have to go with a "C" for amiability, at least so far. How about you?

Yesterday's Gone

Since beginning in March 2011 I've purposefully skipped posting any day my mind did not feel up to the task. Yesterday was my first day skipped because the body was not up to it.

Healthy as I've always been, being brought so low physically reminded me how easy good health can be taken for granted. Each time a basic task felt out of reach and I got frustrated, I tried to re-frame it and regain a measure of gratitude, confident today would be better.

And today is better. As I opened my laptop, the blog topics in my queue from before Monday faded before the simple fact of being upright and able to sit long enough to type a little. I'm grateful for several things. My continuing good health, the books that kept me company yesterday, having a partner nearby. Three things to avoid taking for granted. I'm also grateful yesterday is over.      

The Grip Of Inertia

Lazy is not a word anyone has ever used to describe me. Still, inertia is a frequent if unwelcome companion of mine. How much does inertia intrude on your life?

For me, this close relative of laziness is insidious. I usually know when I'm being lazy but days can go by before I recognize inertia has had me in its grip. It's a toxic recipe - finite time + hard to detect inertia = lost productivity. Even if I'm not (necessarily) procrastinating, somehow not much of note gets accomplished. Then presto - a lot more time has gone by.

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." That ancient maxim has given me inspiration many times when I've found myself hobbled by inertia. I start; I feel better. And if that doesn't work I may try using a question from Stephen Covey's book "First Things First": "Is this the best use of my time this moment?" Doesn't work every time but what method does? How do you escape inertia's grip?

#12: The Mt. Rushmore Series (Two For One)

Which four highly memorable misfits from literature would be on your Mt. Rushmore? Because none of mine have yet been depicted on film, this iteration of Mt. Rushmore is a two for one deal; yours need not be. My granite figures are listed chronologically by release date of the book.

1.) Holden Caulfield from "Catcher in the Rye":  In April 2011, I asked who people would cast as this unforgettable misfit from JD Salinger's 1953 masterpiece if it ever made it to film. My favorite reader response to that early post? Jesse Eisenberg - brilliant!

2.) Ignatius Reilly from "A Confederacy of Dunces": Given this character's despicable personal habits, it's difficult for me to imagine anyone except John Belushi playing Reilly in a movie. Since John Kennedy Toole's hilarious book was not released until 1980, we need Marty McFly to hop in the DeLorean and mess with the time/space continuum.

3.) Dolores Price from "She's Come Undone": I've been a little stuck for who to cast as Dolores ever since Wally Lamb created this lost soul in 1990. Now that Melissa McCarthy is a force to be reckoned with, my search is over.

4.) Oscar Wao from "The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao": To do justice to the eponymous character of Junot Diaz' 2007 novel, MISFIT needs strong emphasis. Before sharing my choice, if you've read this marvel of a book, please tell me first who you'd cast.

But more significantly, which four memorable literature misfits belong next to Washington et al?        

That Not So Funny Feeling

You meet someone new, either one-on-one or in a group situation. Almost immediately you get the clear sense this person has a visceral dislike for you. What happened?

It's possible some of you have never had this experience. I have, more than once, and do not believe I've been paranoid, clinically or otherwise. Further, I suspect my experience is not at all unique. When it occurred again not long ago, I wondered - what just happened? Out came my journal and, as is often the case, any answers I approached were rapidly superseded by additional questions to myself. Any of these ring a bell?

What did this situation share with similar situations from the past?
How much of the other person's reaction to me could simply be bad chemistry?
What part did I play in helping create that chemistry?
How can I learn from this?

Of course, it's unrealistic to expect everyone we meet will like us. In my case, with charm not being a strong suit, I would be delusional to have that expectation. Still, I'm on the lookout for patterns in these situations to help me reduce future incidences of that not so funny feeling.  
 

Seasonal Sound

Setting aside the stunning weather, sounds alone signal for me the glorious transition between spring and summer in New Jersey.

* Even when not my cup of tea, any music coming from cars with the windows down invariably makes me smile.

* The bells of a passing ice cream truck? I'm ten years old again.

* Try sneaking up on someone wearing flip-flops. When else in the year does the sound of footwear so clearly mark a change of season?

Which sounds help you mark this time of year? Listen closely, then share with me and others.