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Tuesday, October 28, 2014

"Well, That Would Explain the Hostility"

After recently enduring an incomprehensible mess entitled "Under The Skin", I've decided a new evaluation tool is now required for yours truly, the indiscriminate film geek. Effective immediately, if a movie does not contain a single line of dialogue worthy of easy later use for a common life experience, that movie will be relegated to the cinema trash heap, never again to be mentioned.

I offer the following three everyday life situations, accompanied by useful film dialogue for each, in support of my wholly arbitrary evaluation tool.

1.) For use when feigning surprise if faced with any obvious fact or circumstance: "I'm shocked! Shocked!" - spoken by Claude Rains near the end of "Casablanca".
2.) For use when showing dismay any time a rude driver fails to yield to you in a crosswalk: "Hey! I'm walking here!" - spoken by Dustin Hoffman (aka Ratso Rizzo) near the beginning of "Midnight Cowboy".
3.) For use when re-assuring someone of your affection while strongly taking exception to their point of view: "I love you but you don't know what the hell you're talking about"- spoken by the adolescent protagonist to his young girlfriend in "Moonrise Kingdom".

When you respond with your line(s) of dialogue please include a situation where anyone could find easy use for it. As memorable as "I love the smell of napalm in the morning" is as dialogue, I doubt my life is ever going to present a scenario for its use.

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