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Monday, December 21, 2015

Let's NOT Go Dutch, OK?

The Netherlands - Holland - Dutch - Flemish.

I began blogging because I maintain that except for the small percent of people who are famous - thus too busy being fabulous and chasing off paparazzi - and the equally small percent who deserve to be incarcerated - thus too busy avoiding being stabbed by a shiv - many of us on the bell curve will, on occasion, have a little time to ponder the imponderables.

For example: Why are people from the Netherlands called Dutch instead of Netherlanders? Or, since the Netherlands is also called Holland (and not in the change-the-country-name tradition of Rhodesia becoming Zimbabwe but a side-by-side-let's-have-two-names-to-confuse-everybody tradition) why aren't the residents of this perplexing country called Hollanders? Come on, fellow residents on the bell curve, don't tell me things like this never cross your mind.

While on the Dutch thing, let's consider the two official languages of the Netherlands/Holland. First there's Dutch, which is annoying enough. A quaint Western tradition like French as the language of the French living in France is apparently not good enough for Netherlanders. Want to guess the name of the other official language of this country that can't make up its mind what to call itself? Frisian! Come on. I bet you were going to say Flemish, right? Not on your life. Ready? Though Flemish is indistinguishable from Dutch, no reference book lists it as connected to Dutch or the Dutch or the Netherlands (BTW, how many independent nations have a "the" in front of their name?) or Holland in any way. And where the hell does Frisian fit in to this indecipherable mess?

At least the Hollish could have had the decency to have one capitol city like most of the nations of the world. Having two would not have been unique but these bozos couldn't leave well enough alone with this piece either. One of their two capitols is The Hague. A capital with two capitalized words and the best they could come up with is "the" as the first word? Really?

1 comment:

  1. Tulips in the country
    Tulips in the park
    The tulips I like best
    Are two lips in the dark
    Any country whose economy
    Is based on flowers and dykes
    Can call itself by any
    Goddamn name it likes