Though fully cognizant of the futility of be-moaning the unchangeable past, I'm equally aware of my tendency for sometimes doing exactly that. So, if that tendency annoys you, feel free to skip the next two paragraphs. You can always return to this bell curve on a day when today's whining blogger is more Dalai Lama-ish.
Largely due to the project I began in late 2011 to fully memorize three hundred jazz standards, many melodic and harmonic musical patterns - previously unrecognizable to me - have started to become clear. Now that I'm more able to readily detect these patterns - and have even begun using them to strengthen my playing - I toggle from being gratified for my present day awareness to deeply frustrated with my past ignorance. Have you any analogue from your own experience that equates to this Jekyll & Hyde reaction of mine?
I hear the Buddhists ever so gently asking - Why waste time? Why not be grateful for your growth, Pat? Those same soothing voices intone: Be here, now, etc. It would be reassuring to learn that even Siddhartha occasionally experienced ambivalence. But lacking a good way to contact Sid, I'll settle for hearing from one of you. Please.
About Me
- Pat Barton
- My most recent single release - "My True North" - is now available on Bandcamp. Open my profile and click on "audio clip".
I have had this experience in another context. What I have come to realize is that the process rather than the outcome is what is valuable to me. I could not have my present day awareness without having gone through the process. So, I celebrate that.
ReplyDeleteInes; Great insight - the journey, not the destination. Thanks for continuing to read and comment.
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