Beautiful Ides, No?

The way I figure, writing something affirming on the ides of each month for the rest of the year might help remove some of the sting the Bard attached to March 15 all those years ago. Why not help me starting today - the ides of February - and share something soothing, silly, or sanguine right here? If it's less gruesome than the assassination of an Emperor, it's acceptable. And, please don't search for the profound or grandiose. For example ...     

The next time you want the attention of someone in your home or at the workplace, why not use a black magic marker and write on a banana? Or, instead of a perfunctory response to the ubiquitous "How are you?" why not say "I'm better looking than yesterday". At least come up with something that better grabs the listener's attention than "Fine, how are you?" The next time you're entertaining, try using Tom Waits as background music. Then, time how long it takes for someone to ask "What the hell are we listening to?" My record so far is 22 minutes, 33 seconds.

OK, I gave you three, now it's your turn. Even if you don't respond today you've got until March 15 to work on an idea or two. To those who've complained my more serious posts and the questions therein hurt their heads, now's the time to join the fun, whiners.