As 2024 began, I decided my blog should mark - in some fashion - all major holidays over the coming year. Unfortunately, that resolve evaporated when both Valentine's (sorry sweetheart) and President's Day (ditto George and Abe) passed by unremarked. Although spotty Internet service while we were in Africa over most of February was largely to blame for that lapse, the mojo has now returned. Pardon the holiday solipsism that follows.
Patrick, Martin, Christopher, and Jesus. That's some company my namesake is keeping, right? Today's holiday - using my moniker - has outlasted those commemorating Washington & Lincoln's birthdays; they were demoted to sharing a day and their title. Honor the blasphemous substitution of "Xmas" for Christmas, do you? That brings us down to three names associated with a major holiday = Patrick, Martin & Christopher. How about this? When people mention the holidays celebrated on the third Monday of January and the second Monday of October, are first names generally cited? Aren't you much more likely to hear MLK or Columbus Day? That leaves Patrick standing alone. Nice.
The parades, drinking, and celebrating that help keep my name on lots of lips today are catnip to an ego like mine. But I'll not be fully satisfied until a holiday with my middle name is formally declared. To that end, I've retained the services of a flock of high-paid lobbyists, bribed a dozen members of Congress, and begun a grassroots campaign to have August 1 declared St. James Day, effective this year. I haven't yet settled on whether post offices and banks should close but Hallmark is gearing up and other noteworthy people named James have donated funds to my cause. With August being a barren holiday month, success is all but guaranteed. And as soon as St. James Day is codified, Barton is next in the queue. Posterity awaits, you'll see.
As a card-carrying James, I wholly support this initiative and pledge to donate ten dollars to help to fund it. According to Google there are 3.4M men in the US with the first name James as well as a quarter of a million people with the last name James, $12M war chest to make this dream come true. Along with Pat's brilliant ideas, let me add that we choose Joe Cocker's version of "St. James Infirmary" as the official holiday theme song. Not the most uplifting tune, but maybe we can make blues music integral to the holiday. If Joe Cocker isn't your cup of tea, let me offer a solo acoustic by guitar virtuoso Harvey Reid. I can feel the momentum beginning to build as I write this.
ReplyDeleteTo follow up on my earlier post, we could get a $12M war chest is only one-third of all the Jameses in America donated $10, so that seems quite doable.
ReplyDeleteJim, aka James; Thanks for both your comments today and for your (ego-driven) support of my unassailable idea. After receiving your promised donation, I'll look into contacting Joe Cocker's estate re permission to use that old standard. In the meanwhile, I've already been in touch with Pat Metheny about using his tune entitled simply "James". Seems like an even better fit as a theme song, don't you think? Give it a listen.
DeleteHey Pat .. Or is it now Patrick James in keeping with your efforts to add holidays to the month of August? lol. Count me in as a positive vote for this.
ReplyDeleteBe well,
Bob
Bob; Thanks for the comment.
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