Since it's pretty safe to assume we'll be inundated with memories of 9/11 for the next few weeks, I've decided to pre-empt that onslaught. My reason? I'm concerned the things I'll read could unconsciously slip into what I write. Do you ever wonder if your thoughts or memories are getting blurred with something you've read or heard? With an event as traumatic as 9/11, I suspect that could happen to anyone.
Like many, I was at work when the planes struck. My first journal entry (from earlier that morning) was more like a diary - some details about a mundane September 10. Since 2001 to that point had not been a great professional year for me, I was feeling a little sorry for myself. By the time I made my second journal entry on 9/11, thinking or writing about anything except the horror felt beyond my grasp.
Then when I re-read my journal for the remainder of the fall of 2001 to help me construct this posting, I was struck by the following:
1.) How quickly my life resumed it's "normal" arc (including a quickly re-newed ability to start feeling sorry for myself) and the guilt I felt about being so self-centered.
2.) How each weekend the New York Times series called "The Lives They Led" reminded me to get over myself and grieve for all that had been lost.
What did you learn about yourself ten years ago? What are you still learning?