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Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Avoiding Crossing The Creepy Line

First things first: I am not a stalker, creep, or as my daughter periodically used to call me if I complimented any of her teenage girlfriends, a "perv". That aside, I have a dilemma. And this post, by necessity, must take the form of mostly questions. Remember: I'm a man (despite the androgynous first name), friendly by natural temperament, and I walk a lot.

What are your recommended guidelines when, while walking on the street, I encounter a total stranger and wish to avoid being perceived as a stalker, creep or perv? Assume said stranger is a woman (any age) or child. For example: If eye contact is made, who should initiate a smile? How long should said smile last? How broad should said smile be, i.e. teeth or no teeth? If teeth, how many? Uppers? Lowers? Both? How long should total eye contact, with or without smile, last? Are words other than "hello" appropriate? Who initiates said "hello"? If said stranger reciprocates with words aside from hello, what is my maximum number of allowable words to say in return? What words are forbidden? 

I have many other questions, including allowances recommended for regional differences, special protocols involving teenagers of either sex etc., but I'll be pleased if anyone takes the time and starts with those above.

3 comments:

  1. Top 10 Do’s and Don’ts:

    (1) Always walk with a cigarette in your hand and you will be ready to stop a pretty woman and ask for a light.

    (2) If she is smoking hide your cigarette and ask if she can spare a smoke.

    (3) If she's inebriated find out what she is drinking.

    (4) Smile broadly for broads.

    (5) Never smile at a policewoman.

    (6) If she looks foreign say bonjour instead of hello.

    (7) For males anything more than an infinitesimal nod of the head brands you as strange. Never wink.

    (8) For a woman walking a dog you may smile at the dog. If she smiles you may then smile at her and start a conversation about her dog's breed.

    (9) If she works for USPS ask if she has seen your package.

    (10) If she's fingering her iPhone stop and ask her if she can recommend a good place to eat out. Have her look up several places and ask for her recommendations. This is a great icebreaker.

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  2. Sounds like anonymous could go on....lots of experience?

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  3. I say hi to everyone and don't care what hey think. Just be who you are.
    Stay away from teenage girls they are crazy

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