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Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Me Against Me

I may have to turn in my gender card admitting this, but competition has become a bit tiresome to me.

It's not as though I don't enjoy winning; I do. But the competing piece tends to bring other stuff to the surface that I want to be done with. Like losing my temper. Or, if I'm teamed up with someone in a competitive situation, being impatient when that person doesn't do their part. Or, being inflexible about "rules" when it's only a game. Anyone recognize themselves looking at Pat's competitive mirror? Sometimes it feels less like I'm playing others and more like it's me against me.

I realize I'm responsible for my temper, patience, and flexibility. So my first step is just to recognize when I'm crossing the lines. But the more I reflect on the whole competition enchilada, the more I'm inclined to just avoid the situations as much as possible. For example, lately I'm enjoying board games more if they are creatively based vs. knowledge or skill centered. Now I'm working on enjoying tennis with my new partners given that they beat me more than I do them. It's possible by the time I get this all worked out, I won't remember why I cared to start. Non-therapeutic insights, anyone?

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