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Monday, February 11, 2013

The Three Of Us

How does the way you relate to your young adult children differ from the way you related to your parents when you were a young adult?

Apologies to anyone feeling excluded by today's reflection but after spending the weekend with my daughter I'm having difficulty escaping myself as a 24 year old. I cannot envision the last three days - a high school play, a movie, many hours spent just hanging out, cooking a full Sunday dinner - just Mom & Dad and I?

I loved my parents deeply; perhaps my memory is failing. However, a similar scenario of one day in length, never mind three, is just not coming to me. I wish one or the other were still around; maybe they'd differ. But if my recollections are more right than wrong, I'm left wondering: What is different? Do parenting norms from the differing eras help explain it? "Children should be seen and not heard" was common parlance as I grew up, as it was for many baby boomers. How much did that conventional wisdom work its way into my young adult psyche and prevent a deeper, more relaxed relationship with my parents?

Or is this relationship with my daughter more about her 24 year old maturity vs. me at that age? I'm so grateful for what my daughter and I share. And I'm a bit wistful my parents and I didn't find our way to a similar place. All three of us would have benefited.     

1 comment:

  1. Elementary my dear Watson
    We're blown-ups, not grown-ups
    Talkin' bout my generation
    Not so cold
    Not dead before old