Shifting

At present, what is most likely to draw you toward others? When did you last notice a shift in what draws you to others?

My own shifts seem to have been gender specific, i.e. what draws me to men shifted about ten years ago, while what draws me to women has been reasonably consistent for a lot longer. At present, I'm drawn to smart men - used to avoid them. I don't recall ever avoiding smart women probably because I grew up with two smart sisters. Less rambunctious men are also more appealing to me than they used to be. Maybe my own male volume has grown tiresome? On the other side: Been a long time since I've been drawn to quiet, shy or retiring women.

Having things in common is a part of being drawn to others. But how each of us shift and how those shifts draw us away from some and toward others is a much more mysterious and interesting story, isn't it? Since having lunch recently with a male friend who I can't imagine being drawn to circa 2003, I've been reflecting on this and wondering about the experience of others. Maybe what draws you to others now, male or female, has been the same for as long as you recall. Not so for me. I wonder what will shift next.