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Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Mr.Id Returns

Caveat emptor.

Mr. Id proposes immediately changing the expression "going ape shit" (used for describing someone who has lost their bearings), to "going dog shit". To wit:

* Based on the dictionary definition of the word anthropomorphize, the late William Safire would  surely align with Mr. Id and say a dog owner is going dog shit when they ask a human being "Have you ever met my dog?" Would that mean introducing a dog to a person?  "Fido, please say hello to Mr. Id" or.. "Fido, shake hands with Mr. Id". A person can expose someone else to a rose but someone cannot meet a rose anymore than they can meet a dog. Mr. Id is not suggesting the use of the word "expose" for a first encounter between human being & dog; too suggestive in a bestial way - yech!  But he would be satisfied with "Have you ever seen my dog?"
* At a recent dinner party, Mr. Id was treated to a delightful discussion of the bowel movements of the host & hostess' dog. Surely this must be a case of going dog shit. When Mr. Id was a young father he was amazed when other new parents thought nothing of bringing up toilet training etc. in polite conversation; tasteless and inappropriate. Dog shit at a dinner party? Only film Director John Waters and his transvestite star Divine have sunk lower vis-a-vis dog shit.

Full disclosure: Mr. Id is not currently a dog owner. He did own and and love many from the canine species from the time he was a young boy right through his early 40s. But...he knew they were animals so he did not ask people if they wanted to "meet" his dogs and he did not treat his dog's bowel movements as suitable conversation topics. Got any other examples of people going dog shit you'd like to share? Don't even get Mr. Id started on those little vests.

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