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My most recent single release - "My True North" - is now available on Bandcamp. Open my profile and click on "audio clip".

Thursday, June 28, 2012

What Does Your Crystal Ball Say?

How many articles have you read predicting which future jobs will be in demand? From someone short on crystal balls, I submit the following yet-to-be created jobs. Admittedly, all are far less profound than the ones you'll see in those articles and clearly not as lucrative.

1.) Professional eavesdropper: Since many of us eavesdrop frequently if unintentionally anyway, why not make it a paying job? This person's supervisor? A professional metaphor thief.

2.) Publicist for the non-famous: Based on how much garbage we are unwillingly exposed to about non-talents like Kim Kardashian et al, why not pay someone to publicize the daily goings-on of someone like my late Dad or Mom? Immediate benefit: An improvement in the public discourse. Put another way: Would you rather make money being Snookie's publicist?

3.) Human tattoo billboard: If the current trend in tattooing continues unabated, how far away can we be from this, really? Unlike #1 or #2, this one is probably not that far-fetched.

What are your ideas? Anything goes. Yes, of course I've got more, and not all are snarky or cynical. Kinder, gentler list available upon request.


  1. In the five minutes that you stimulated my creative mind I just typed in an idea that was so good that I cut it from your "Post a Comment" box and pasted it in an e-mail to myself. Thank's Pat! You the man! You're new moniker: professional stimulator for idea elicitation.

    1. Dr. Stimulator for Idea Elicitation (PSFIE for short)June 28, 2012 at 10:30 PM

      You are welcome anonymous. Do you want to hire me on retainer?

  2. Social Network Surrogate - someone who pretend to be you and would answer all emails, respond to all phone and text messages, and who would also link in, blog, facebook, tube, tweet, and tumble for you....oh, wasn't that a song by Boy George?

  3. Hey Krowbar...(is your brother Krowmagnon?) yeah the boy was willing to tumble for you, but only if you were willing to join the chruch of the poison mind.

    If you look on ODesk, there are hundreds of social media managers who pretend to be anyone who will pay them... and then they represent you all over the internet. Sometimes they do it well and sometimes not so well. So I think Social Network Surrogate is usually called Social Media Manager.

    Krowbar, I Don't mean to be a know it all... (well, maybe alittle) just happen to know a bit about this one. Here's my suggestion... Wise Ass For A Friend - Yeah, anytime a friend says something this person would add a few words of nonsense to either put the whole thing in perspective; bring out a humorous point; or amuse him/herself at eveyone eles's expense. Oh darn... I suppose there are already knaves a plenty.