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Sunday, September 14, 2014

Who Gets You?

How many people in your life would you say really "get" you? Does your spouse or partner get you? Your siblings? Parents? Children? Good friends? Are the pieces of you that others don't get the same for the different groups? 

Years ago someone asked me how well I thought I knew my brother. My response? "Not very well at all."  I didn't feel then, and still don't, that any of us can know someone well unless we ourselves feel known well by that other person. There are significant parts of me I've chosen to conceal from my brother and wouldn't be surprised to learn the same is true for him - each of us has an incomplete picture. I love my brother, enjoy his company & can rely on him unconditionally. He and my sisters are, along with my wife and daughter, my best friends.

But if I were listening to any of my siblings describe me to others, I'm not sure I would recognize the person they were talking about, aside from the facts each could recite about my life - my education, my work, my hobbies, etc. At the same time, I also would not be surprised if they were equally befuddled over-hearing me describe them to someone else. 

So, I guess the last question must be, how many people in your life do you think you really "get"? And, would they agree that you do?  


  1. I kept reflecting on this post, and I think I finally figured out what it is that was keeping me in a place of befuddlement. As I was attempting to name the person or persons who "get" me, I could not name any. Yet, I know that I am genuinely me to all those I meet. I have never had the time or creativity to be anything else. Yet, I could not name one person who knew everything there is to know about me. Every time that I thought of a relationship that might be "it", I could then name something that I share exclusively with someone else.

    Then it hit me, What makes us think that the complexity that is "us" can be confined to the parameters of one relationship? We are social beings, and as such, our full self can be revealed only when we take the sum of the relationships from our past, present and future. No one person can fill that bill. There is only one Higher Being who really gets the entire picture....and that is certainly fodder for another post, or not...Thank you for waking my brain up with this!!! Really got me thinking and I'm certain I am not yet finished mulling it.

  2. d; Thanks again for reading and your comments. In this instance, what really intrigues me is your statement that "our full self can be revealed only when we take the sum of the relationships from our past, present and future". Because the "Higher Being" you later refer to has always been elusive to me AND since that future is always an unknown, now it's my turn to be "...befuddled...". Needless to say that's a frequent occurrence.