Assimilation

assimilation: the merging of cultural traits from previously distinct cultural groups, not involving biological amalgamation. 

Assimilation has long been held up as an American ideal, supported by one of our most durable metaphors - the melting pot. Given past & present ethnic battles that have claimed countless lives in other countries, expecting immigrants to the U.S. to assimilate is a compelling position. My struggle with that position has always been one of degree.      

How much conforming to American cultural norms is it reasonable to expect of immigrants? How much of any immigrant's heritage is potentially lost while adapting to those norms?  Conform and adapt are cited as dictionary synonyms for assimilate. Neither word is offensive to me but both speak to the price a person pays while assimilating. Some would say no price is too high to pay for the privilege of calling oneself an American. Your view?

I'll be ready to tackle the melting pot metaphor after I hear about your experiences with assimilation - the concept, the word, its place in the American story.