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Monday, April 6, 2015

Bark, Bite, Bite, Bark

Greedily consuming a massive number of jelly beans and gorging myself on chocolate this past weekend, I reflected how the Easter bunny remains a good friend to me at sixty five. The largess of Santa Claus also helps him retain a certain allure despite my certified codger-ness.

However, this senior citizen has concluded it's high time to re-negotiate the terms of the tooth fairy's contract. How about serious cash or commensurate swag under my pillow on any birthday when I've held onto the same number of teeth for a year? And what about people my age with dentures, especially those who raised children and paid earlier dividends? It's unfair for the tooth fairy to ignore those folks indefinitely. Your ideas for a contract for those whose bark is likely worse than their bite?

Note to my adult daughter: Don't bite the hand that fed you - it's your responsibility to contact the tooth fairy's manager and work out my contract. Keep your barking to a minimum.  

1 comment:

  1. I agree - I officially appoint the dentists and periodontists who have put the financial equivalent of a Porsche in my mouth to be the new Tooth Fairies. Next time I sit in that chair, I expect a rebate to appear under the lead apron.