Hiking with a big group recently, it was hard not to overhear a fair amount of the conversation going on directly behind me on the trail. It was just as difficult not to notice one of the people saying very little beyond "uh-um", "you don't say" etc. How often do you find yourself the passive partner in conversations?
I also noticed whenever the person who said little asked the dominant talker a question, the talker invariably answered but I don't recall hearing a single question asked in return. I suppose this is not all that unusual, but I was still struck by it. I found myself wondering: Does the talker realize there is a one way flow of information? How often have you found yourself on either end of that equation in a conversation?
A while back my wife pointed out to me how two good friends of ours, a couple, are much more likely to be passive in conversations, asking she and I questions about our work, our hobbies, our daughter, etc. Listening to that conversation (sic) on the trail reminded me about the need to be more reciprocal the next time we see these friends. After all, there could be someone like me listening and then blogging about how dense I am. Can't have that.
About Me
- Pat Barton
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Great blog entry...I have one slight difference of opinion. People who consistently return the conversational ball by asking great questions aren't "passive". The art of continually engaging the other person is much more active and demanding a role than simply responding to those questions.
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