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Saturday, June 8, 2013


Wonder how much heartache could have been avoided if I were as skilled recognizing the things I do or say that trigger others as I am recognizing what triggers me?

Family interactions are fertile ground for this nonsense, possibly the place where we each fail the most predictably. Each time someone shares with me a mother/daughter, father/son, brother/sister story that caused them pain, my own family of origin stories come rushing back . And no matter how ancient the story, I can often identify what was said or done by a family member that triggered me, even if no significant pain followed.

Interesting how I have to work harder to remember the part I played in those family dramas. But play a part I did so putting effort into recognizing what triggers others remains important work. Each time I hear a new story and remind someone how we each trigger others as much or more than we are ourselves triggered, I'm the one most benefiting from that reminder.

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