Working On My Tell

If you know in advance you're going to be spending time with a new group of people do you ever plan to try out new behaviors? When was the last time you did so and what old behavior did you modify?

One of the main reasons I look forward to meeting new groups is the opportunity those situations present to do this. When no one knows me, expectations are mostly neutral, making it easy to shift my persona. There's no chance anyone will think "That's not like Pat at all". It's liberating.

My latest experiment under these conditions has been working on better controlling my non-verbals, what poker players and con artists call a "tell". As others speak, I try hard to keep my face impassive and my head stationary. An additional benefit I've noticed not allowing my head to nod in assent or move to-and-fro in disagreement is how sometimes it helps me listen a little better. If you try it, I'm curious to know what you discover.

It recently occurred to me that my propensity for changing jobs quite a bit during my full time work years may have been partially motivated by an unconscious wish to try out new behaviors routinely. Does this wish resonate with you at all?