The Crab & His Pimped Ride

geriatrics: the medical science dealing with the diseases, debilities and care of aged persons.

Ever since my medical writer wife told me that clinical studies put people my age into the geriatric demographic, I've had a few Jekyll and Hyde-ish moments.

First and foremost, being upright - and in my case quite healthy - slaughters all the alternatives and also renders my morbid introspection a little ... crabby. But ... , if that dictionary definition about medical science for my age group also included one reference to good health - actually one word would be enough - the word geriatric might not be as demoralizing. Is my geriatric status making my skin a little thin? Yeah, probably.

OK, so lexicographical adjustment to the word geriatrics is too far-fetched. How about this instead? How about if a bell curve denizen invents a science - giving it a shiny new word that mixes Latin & Greek, of course - dealing with us "aged persons" who are not diseased, debilitated or in need of care? I'm taking nominations for that neologism. The winner receives a walker outfitted with voice activated I-phone, GPS, and satellite radio with really loud speakers.